Hi everyone. I stumbled across this forum when I was endlessly looking at my phone while spending days in hospital watching my dad passing away in front of my eyes. This unfortunately is his final stages and seeing him so weak makes my hreat break with different emotions.

how could cancer have the final say over taken him away from me forever. Turning him over the last 18 months into someone who is so painfully thin and take all his independent and pride of being able to care for himself and then have to relie on every need to be given by others. My feelings as I sit here are of many. Angry that my dad has suffered for so long with no magic wand to wave this illness away. And the overwhelming love I have for this man ( my lovely dad) how do I let him go. How can I spend everyday caring for him then this be taken away. How will my life be without him not being apart of seeing him every day. How will I fill these holes. 

Sorry for all who read this. As being a mum to my three children and a daughter to my dad trying to be strong all the time when your breaking inside. All I hear is the rain on the window and my dads last moments will soon be taken from me. Feeling helpless and scared.  

Thank you all for taken the time to read this x