Cancer Research UK main site

Lost my mum

fifi15
Offline

My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer just under two years ago, she fought so hard but passed away last month. It was horrible seeing her so ill in hospital, I stayed with her for three days and three nights, I couldn't leave her, it was the most heartbreaking thing to see her in pain and when she passed away. I'm 18 and just started university in September but I'm struggling to cope so much, I want to make her proud but I feel like I'm letting her down as I've missed a lot of time and haven't been very productive at all. It feels like I've lost a part of me, I miss her incredibly and I know that's normal but it just doesn't make it any easier. I'm just really struggling to cope.

  • Offline

    Hi fifi15

    I lost my sister in october to this awful disease she was very young. I know exactly how you feel i have no energy or interest in anything at the minute and i cant see how life will ever be the same without her. I constantly cry thinking about everything that has happened over the last 5 weeks reliving it watching her slowly pass away it truly is heartbreaking and the worst experience of my life. I try to get on with things the best i can because its what she wanted but its very hard and you are only 18 you are so young to be going through this.. i hope you have family to speak to? luckily i have a fab family and we are all sticking together makes it a little more bearable  x

  • Offline in reply to LeanneC

    Hi fifi , I am so sorry for your loss , how awful to loose your mum at your age. I lost my husband to prostate cancer in September and I know how hard it is to watch your love one suffering so, I went through the same thing and am finding it really hard to get those last weeks out of my head, sometimes they are the only memories I can summon up, but very gradually the good times are coming back too. 

    It's very early days for you, be kind to yourself life will be sad but try to think about what she would want for you, she would want you to try and move forward and be happy . It's baby steps but hopefully you will feel better bit by bit. 

    I have very bad days when I just give in to the tears when they come I don't think you can stop them, but I also have better days when I can think of John and feel OK and just accept this is happening and I just have to be strong as he would want me to be and find a way of coping. 

    Sending all my best wishes and a big hug. Xx Sandra. 

  • Offline

    Sorry for your loss. I lost my mum last December. It is hard to deal with but Im sure your mum will be very proud of you and will be watching over you. I was with my mum the day she died and still have flashbacks to when she died. But Im also at peace with the fact she is no longer suffering as that was heartbreaking seeing her in pain. Take each day as it comes, things will get better. Take care of yourself. X

  • Offline

    Hi fifi15 

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and you are at such a young age too.

    I lost my mum in August, she was diagnosed a month earlier with Pancreatic cancer. It is heart breaking to see your mother go through it. 

    I know how you are feeling, I am finiding it difficult to cope. I have no energy or motivation. I have been in between jobs. This past week I have not been working and promised myself I would be productive but all I want to do is sleep, watch TV and drink alcohol :( which is something I never used to do, maybe once every couple of months! 

    I have nobody to talk to about it, I hope that you have some people near you that can help support you. Try to be around friends as much as possible, I have a few good friends but unfortunately they live hundreds of miles away. I found when I was spending time with them, things seemed much more bareable. My friend had a two year old daughter and being around her a lot really helped at the time (I stayed at their house around the time of death until after the funeral) 

  • Offline
    Hi Fifi15 I lost my only sister on the 8th July this year. We were so close she was like a mum and best friend to me. Secondary breast cancer was the cause, she was only 40. My sister left a husband and 2 boys aged 7 & 10 and they are so brave. I cry at least 4 times every day. I have honestly never felt such pain from this grief I felt as if half of me has gone. Life will never be the same. We have to keep putting one foot in front of the other for now.

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.