I miss my mum

I was 14 when my mum was first diagnosed with breast cancer, she was a fighter. She had surgery to remove the tumour which worked but unfortunately the cancer had already spread. My mum was determined to beat her terrible illness from the moment she got the news. Fast forward two years to 2016 and by this point the cancer had spread to her spine, the lining of her skull and her liver, which ultimately caused her death. My mum went through several surgeries and procedures and always came out on top but in July 2016 the doctors told us her liver had deteriorated so severely there was nothing left they could do for her. 5 weeks later on the 22nd August at 11am, my beautiful mum took her last breath and became an angle. Ok her final morning she was surrounded by everyone who loved her. 

Watchimh my mum physically take her last breath and struggle breath still plays in my mind, it haunts me and things are getting so hard to cope with. I'm 16 now and I feel like I'm missing a part of me. My mum was and still is my best friend, it just hurts so much that she'll never be here to watch me start a family, go to university or get married. Each night I cry because I just want to give her a hug good night but I know I'll never see her again. 

  • I wish I could give you a hug, my heart goes out to you. Losing your mum is unbearable, but to lose her at your age must be so hard to get your head around.

    I lost my mum without any warning 4 years ago and its still feels raw.

    I am so sorry you are going through this. Are you getting any support from any family or friends?

  • This post breaks my heart, I too wish I could give you a hug as well. I am so sorry for your loss! 16 is such a young age to lose a parent, my brother was also 16 when our Dad died last year. The pain is awful and unbearable. 

    Do you have other siblings that you can talk with? Although everyone's grief is different they were the only ones who could truly understand what I was going through and we all cried together and consoled each other.

    Watching my Dad take his last breath was the most awful time in my life, it will forever haunt me. That single moment changed our lives forever and robbed us of the future we had hoped we would have. He just missing seeing his first grandchild born

    Take each day as it comes along, don't try to do too much, some days just getting out of bed was a victory for me.

    Take care

  • I am sorry for your loss. I watched my Mum take her last breath just 6 months ago after a 5 year battle with breast cancer. I was only 33 and have 3 young beautiful children who keep asking me where there Nanny is. I have been through the denial and angry stage of grieving for my mum and now I feel very depressed. The same image keeps playing over in my mind aswell as her funeral. Nothing prepares for you for it. I am only just starting to go through her things to help my dad. I have some ok days and some bad days I know she is watching over me and does not want me to sad but to celebrate her life she had with us. I have only just joined this forum today as no one really understands around me. I don't think the pain ever goes away but we have to carry on. Big hugs x
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Mum. Unfortunately I also lost my Mum 3 days ago, the day before my eldest sisters wedding.

    It's so hard knowing that you can't hug her again, I'm still in shock at the moment and can't quite believe it yet!! I was so close to my Mum too and I'm still young, so I can understand your pain :(

    I hope you are managing to take care of yourself and know that your Mum is still with you in spirit. Things will get better in time, just try to remember your Mum and all the happy memories you have with her. She wouldn't want you to be sad.

    xx