Hi Sarah,

Please dont ever feel guilty about writting your thoughts down for its like a saftey valve to release those pent up emotions we dont want to offload onto other family members. I can tell from what youve written you were close to your dad. When we lose someone we love dearly, it leaves a big hole in our lives which will never again be quite the same. But I truley believe, a part of him will live on inside of you for he has helped shape the person you are today.

People say it does get easier in time but the truth is its more a fact that we learn to adjust to a life without our loved ones. When I lost my mother ten years ago, I felt much like you and even now I still miss her. But when I  feel her loss, I think of all the happy time we had and the memories I have of her and that helps me a lot.

Sending kind thoughts your way and please keep in contact, Brian

Sarah - I understand what you are going through - when my dad died 3 months ago I felt like it was my mum's loss only and no-one ever asked me how I was.  People at the funeral were saying things like "be strong for your mum" and I wanted to screem "how???"

What I do believe is that some people, especially work collegaues, etc are scared or perhaps too immature to deal with grieving people and they either avoid you or try and act as if nothing has happened.  I know this is difficult to cope with when you are feeling so far from normal yourself.

Please don't feel guilty - it is your loss and your grief and it's all valid.  I wonder if you could tell your mum how you are feeling?

Take care - and remember it's OK to have sad days.  You will have lots more to come but you will also have days where you smile fondly at your memories with less tears than the last time.

Thankyou both so much for your kind words .. I am so very sorry for both your losses too . We was very close and people say how sometimes i sound and act just like my Dad ..so my mum says ha ha x x .I will try and live my life like Dad would want ..its not a matter of getting over losing a loved one is it ..but you're right we have to adjust to a new life without them ..but i have so many wonderful memories..and i know one day i will be able to remember them without it hurting so much .but they will make me smile and laugh instead . I'm not sure mum is up to dealing with  my grief just yet. I have my wonderful partner and he has been amazing , to both me and my Mum so he is there when i fall apart.

Michaelann thats exactly whats been happening to me ..people only ever ask about my mum ..i know its not her fault ..hardly anyone asked how im feeling .i know its not intentional but all the same i want to say what about me ??. He was my world too ..!!

Thankyou to you both for making me feel that its normal to feel this way and i shouldnt feel bad for feeling like this ..and i will get through it in time .

Take care 

Sarah x

It's tough going Sarah - like you I was particularly close to my dad, I am the oldest of 3 and everyone knew that I was closest to him, a real "daddy's girl".  I think it's fair to say that we are on an emotional rollercoaster that we can't get out of!