Hi all you lovely people

My dad passed away from a rare aggressive cancer called bile duct cancer. I find it scary as he was only 56 and had very little symptoms till it was to late. Once diginosed he only had 3 months with us till he died in May this year. I am having a hard time coping with his loss and on top of this I am convinced I have this cancer I sometimes think I am stupid and selfish to be focusing on myself more than my dad or other people in my family. I know being 20 my chances are slim but I convinced I am the unlucky one. My mum had tyroid cancer in her 30s but she got the all clear and the cancer has not returned in more than 10 years. I am not as scared of this cancer as it has a higher survival rate. I am constantly trying to plan my life under the assumption I will meet the same fate as my dad. But then I get scared because my plan gets thrown off as I fear I will die earlier. I was bullied a lot as a child and I fear that for the majority of my life I will have been unhappy if I die now. I have had a cold recently and I have been coughing up flem but I am scared that coughing is the start of the cancer like it was for my dad. My dad was also super fit and didn't smoke so I can't pin point something to not do.

Thank you for reading xxx

Lucy