Hi There, 

Just though i might feel better to write this here as people and society will never listen to my doubts and confuse them to beliefs. 

Since i was a child, my dad was always a god-like figure to me, someone so powerful and indestructible and never did i imagine him suffering from anything or i just took that role he played for granted and forgot that we are human. initially diagnosed with gastric cancer in August 2015, doctors were very optimistic with his prognosis, he went under the knife and they removed 3/4 his stomach and informed him to go through 6 sessions of preventive chemotherapy to ensure the cancer will not come back. spreading to liver and 18 sessions later he passed away from pneumonia and spread of cancer all over his body as he could not do any chemo for 2 months due to the infection. 

Point is not here, i have been strong across all this, predicted his death a month before it actually happened but now i come to ask my self, where is he? i am a believer, born a muslim but do not really practice it, instead i choose to believe that the creator (God) gave us this piece of brain to do our own thinking and use logic in our beliefs. Alot of my friends are athiests who believe in eternal darkness (which might be true, anything is possible) but how unfair is it for someone to go through cancer, pain, suffer, coma, death then nothingness? or maybe we cannot define nothingness? i want nothing else in this world but to meet with him again wherever he is when my time comes, i want him to be there, i do not have nothingness, i want an afterlife filled with flowers, love, peace, happiness, because he was loving, peaceful and taught me to use my brain when it comes to believing rather than blindly following preachers. 

One more thing, F*** you cancer, may you get cancer and die yourself :).

Thanks