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I can't cope

Mike1981
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I lost my mum a month ago now and had the funeral 2 weeks ago. I'm finding it really hard to cope , I don't really want to talk to anyone . Mum beat breast cancer twice previous and was given the all clear in 2012, but last summer 2015 mum started getting headaches and couldn't control the pain . After 4 visits to the docs and A and E she was fobbed off with Co dydramol and then Codine.  Finally after some serious pushing with the doctors they finally gave mum a head scan and lumbar puncture which finally found the abnormal cells. It was March this year mum was diagnosed with leptomeningeal disease which is brain cancer. They only gave her 3 months but she went on to fight it untill July 28th 2016. Mum was only 56 years old and I'm not coping with this at all , mum said to me she was scared and she wasn't ready to leave us at this age . I just don't know what to do . I'm not sleeping well I keep waking up at 2 am  3am 4 am all sorts of times. I'm hurting inside .

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    Mike, I'm so sorry to hear that about your mum. I don't know what to say, I'm in a similar position with my father. He is dying and I don't know what I'm going to do, when that happens. I think the only way to get over is time and by focusing on the happy times with your mum. I hope the pain gets better for you. Wish you all the best.

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    My heart goes out to you, my dad died 7 years ago from an inoperable brain tumour , secondary cancer. When he was diagnosed it was too late to anything and we nursed him for 3 months until he died. Its devastating loosing a your Mum or Dad but seeing them become so ill and helpless was what I couldn't deal with. I miss my Dad every day but I know hes at peace and I remember all the great times we had and the love he had for us all. its very early days for you , take each day at a time and try remember the goodtimes and your Mum when she was well . You never forget you just learn to cope

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    Mike I'm so sorry for your loss , I lost my Mum 2 and a half weeks ago and I feel in a total state of despair . I'm usually the one that copes with every situation and at the moment I can't understand why I'm not coping . 

    My Mum as had cancer 4 times over the last ten years and was 4 months away from being 5 years clear of breast cancer when she developed bone cancer last Nov of which they said was incurable , Mum had always been a fighter but gave up when the word incurable was mentioned . She then over the last three months developed meninges which halted her chemo to focus on radiotherapy for her brain . 

    We still kept on hoping but had a major setback a week before she left us , that last week everything seemed to escalate , I feel robbed and angry that my Mum went through so much , she was such a wonderful lady . 

    I can't stop crying and just can't seem a time when I don't feel such loss , I miss her so much . I don't want Mum suffering but I still need her so much , I just can't see a way forward from this grief .

    Maxine x

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