Hi Eliza,

I'm sorry about everything you are going through. I lost my mum nearly two weeks ago and  I still wake up feeling like I need to call her or email her. She was such an integral part of my life. There is not a day where we weren't talking either by phone or by email about everything from minor things to the bigger things.

I too don't know how I will fully move on from this - I wake up everyday now and 80% of the time I am thinking 'how do I get through the day without falling apart' but I know that my mum was a strong person who taught me most things in life and wouldn't want me to not go on living so I keep telling reminding myself of how she encouraged me when I was really struggling with things in life. She would want me to go on living and doing things even when I really am not in the mood for it.

I'm trying to remain positive that there will be a turning point in all of this and I will be in a better place. At the moment I'm no where near a turning point as such but I think I'm at that point when I feel like I'm going to be ok and that I can actually get through a day without becoming a complete emotional wreck. I'm not the 'same' person and I don't expect to be the 'same' person again for several months. I don't think there is a 'normal' way of grieving,

Thank you for replying ATayHA. I am so sorry about your lovely mum, it sounds like you were really close. I am slightly further down the line than you and it has become a bit easier in terms of falling apart every day, but the sadness is unreal. I feel so empty and lonely without him. Like you say, they wouldn't want us to give up on life, and I know my dad would be sad seeing me so upset but I really do not know how to live a life without him. He was my go to for advice, my friend, the person who I could just be with and do nothing and feel at peace, I never imagined a world where he wouldn't be there. Losing him was never going to be easy for me which is why I can't quite believe he is gone but I do hope there is a 'turning point' soon as this is so tough.

Take care. X