Mums gone and I feel hopeless

My mum passed away on Monday 13th June and since then all I can do is read stories about others losing their mums in the hope I feel better. I know that sounds ridiculous but I feel so alone that I do t know what else to do.

My mum was diagnosed in Febuary with lung cancer, it was a shock but I believed we would get through it. I was with her for every appointment, all her treatments and we had a plan to cure her.

About 5 days after her last radiotherapy, she developed a chest infection and couldn't fight it. I don't understand how this has happened, she was with me a week ago and now she's gone. 

I know I'm rambling but I just don't know what else to do. I do t know how to live without her and I can't imagine life will ever be the same again. I'm scared I have no one else even though  I have an amazing husband. 

 

  • Hello Sarah,

    On behalf of the Cancer Chat team I wanted to send you our sincere condolences after the recent loss of your mum. You seemed to have been an amazing daughter going with her to every single appointment and I am sure she very much appreciated that. I am glad you have an amazing husband who I am sure will be there for you to support you when you need it the most. Coming to this forum can also help you feel a little less alone for you will meet others here who have also lost a parent very recently, who have experienced the same traumatic experience of losing a loved one.

    I will now let them come forward, share their experience and welcome you to our friendly forum.

    Warmest wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Sarah

    First of all am so sorry for your loss. My mam passed away on 30th May after a brave fight. It's very early days for you and the first few weeks are just so painful. I think I'm only just accepting it now but still have those thoughts of Will just ring her and tell her this or that. We were so close like best friends.

    Life won't be the same again but it will get slightly easier for you & you have your husband to help. Just take it one day at a time. I miss her all the time but I know she wouldn't want me to be sad. So I'm trying to live my life but I've yet to have a day where I haven't been in tears. I have a message she left on the answer machine that I can't erase & sometimes play it. 

    It's a strange feeling & can't offer much as I'm just starting on this horrible journey too but wanted to send you hugs & to say you aren't a line.

    Xxx

  • My mum was the same ,lossed her on the 8th of June ,she had a fall ,they x ra her to find she had broken  her back ribs ,and that's when they said she had stage 4 lung cancer ,she spent 7 weeks in hospital ,to be told she was fit enough to go in a nursing home, as she was not end of life ,to die two weeks later , how wrong they where ,like you read everything ,but don't felt any better lost ed ,so I know how your feeling ,bless you take care ,I'm told it gets better ,but I cannot see how .Take care x

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum just 6 weeks ago. I have been coping ok but it has suddenly hit me like a bomb this week. I feel totally lost and miss her so much, I'm not sure I can live without her! Roll on 5 years...I know this year is going to be the hardest!
  • I am so sorry to hear about your mum do lost  my mum five years ago x still think of her everyday the age old cache time heals all wounds it doesn't but you do learn to live with it and then you start remembering the funny times , the little quirks and how you were so lucky to have the mum that you had x and they will always be with you in your heart , I hope with all my heart that things get easier for you overtime xxx

  • I never ever ever write anything on forums but I've just read your post and it has hit me like a tonne of bricks, I just have to respond! I too lost my Mum on 13th June to lung cancer following a batch of radio that she just couldn't come back from. Mum was diagnosed 2 years ago a few days before I had her second granddaughter and I honestly thought then that my world had literally ended. After reading a lot of these posts I'm realising I'm one of the lucky ones having some time with Mum before she left us. I could sit and write a book on the last two years but you know the score, it's just the worst thing in the world, not being able to fix something you so desperately want to. Grief is such a lonely place at times. The pain, sorrow and emptiness can be overwhelming and you feel it so deep within your soul it's hard to explain sometimes. As much as it's awful, you just have to go with it and ride the storm - don't try and avoid it or block it out. You are allowed to be distraught. In fact you are bloody entitled to be distraught! It is utter ***!! Massively relating to your post, I google all sorts of crazy things, my favourite is 'my mums gone', in the hope that someone may have reached out and will make me feel normal! I don't feel like I'll ever feel truly happy again and I feel terrible saying that because I have a wonderful family and two beautiful children but it's just not the same Lots of love and be kind to yourself and protect yourself until you feel stronger Xxx
  • I also just lost my mum 4 weeks ago

    I also was with her for all her treatment for the past 18 mths,it is just heart breaking.

    Mum lived with me the past few months and even now I expect her to walk down the hallway.

    It breaks my heart, I know she is gone I just wish her back

    People tell me it takes time but I miss her so so much.