Hi there, I'm so sorry for your losses in such a short space of time. 53 is no age at all, far too young to leave this world. In time you will find some happiness even if intermittent. Life becomes very different when you loose a part that was so pivotal to your life. Are your son in laws parents still around? Take comfort that you had good quality years together in the time you spent as a close family. You know have to live your life in honour of those you have lost and keep their memories alive through yourself. I'm sure the shock of it all is going to be a massive hurdle to overcome. I had the relationship you describe with my dad who passed last year at 64, my parents lived next door so we ate together, bbq's, days out. It's so lonely when you loose someone who should of had a good few years ahead. Coming on here is a constant reminder that there are lots of others with similar losses they're suffering from. Take your time on your journey. Take care x