I'm so very guarded, always was and always will be.

My mam meant so much to me, more than she ever know and to now write on a cancer forum that she died after 7 months of diagnosis brings so much heart ache to me.

Ok let's put it right out there, nobody knows me....

I grieve in silence, I grieve on my own. I'm stubborn like her and I don't know any other way, only Joanie wouldn't be on a website, she couldnt bloody txt on a phone let alone the big wide web.

Anyway, it's been 3 weeks since she died, not a nice death to watch but at least she was at home.

I miss her - check

Want to see her - check

Really want to chat on with her - check

Don't honestly know how I will cope with day to day/high powered job/and at peace with my self - check

Life continues - don't want to check