6weeks into losing my husband to lung cancer and I feel worse now than I did in the first 2weeks I feel empty and numb how can I move forward I just miss him so much the nights are worse I can't sleep I'm crying all the time
HI so hard seem to cry so much , 3 weeks now and ist all likeyesterday, i try to go out but hate it on my own ,flat is so empty i think i need to move , ilive on site as retirement schem emanger and have been here yaers with him so many memories of the job/home etc , cant get away from it anywhere and some people are not very nice , feel like telling them to shut up but cant cos its my job to be polite ,must move away then maybe ill feel better about coming into work , job changing in ayear anyway and prob get redundancy in a year , he knew and used to say get what you can , wait for that (been here 26 yaers) and get out of it ,just didnt realies how hard it would be to go to my flat upstairs from their lounge and laundry , they are around me constantly and one opposite my flat is vile , she stood and watched by her window paramedics and hearse colect his body then rushed around knocking on doors to gossip, then had nerve to turn up at funeral, i bit my tongue and said thanks for coming and guess what ,,, she snaps here for mole, not you ......she was lucky she didnt stay there ...feel so angry now cant even bear to say good morning to her , so trapped, i used to come up and have moan and a laugh with him about it all, now theres no one to tell..... so sad , dont think ill ever get through this
same with mine , 2nd time neck cancer and appointments and decisions took so long , i wonder if they had acted quicker , was dreadful, i had to chase so much for him....
Val, so sorry to hear that what is already such a difficult time is being made worse by some of your residents. I work as an occupational therapist and often have to work with people with cancer and other illnesses. When Bob was ill, I really empathised with some people and their carers who were having a hard time, as I was also in their shoes, but there were other people with their petty moans and I just wanted to tell them to get on with it, but you can't, as you say you have to put the face on and act professional. At least I could go home at the end of my shift, but you are there 24/7. My mum lives in sheltered housing and so many of the residents look to the manager for support and just expect you to be there for them all the time, and they can be quite self-centred, and never consider it from your point of view.
It may not feel like it at the moment, but you will get through somehow a day at a time, or even an hour or two at a time. Some people just want to stay in, others just want to be out, some want to be home when they are out and out when they are in- all these feelings are normal. Do you have any family or friends who can support you? Can you get any sort of support from your employer? Keep posting on here, as you will find other people who do understand what you are going through.
I don't know where you live, but I would gladly meet up with you for a coffee if you are anywhere near me. I am in Manchester.
company have big review on going and all our EM jobs will go next year so im hanging on for redundancy, been here 26 years so they owe me ! Id be afool to walk away but its so hard without him here .as you say days are endless and nothing to do as i did so much to make our last year good together , never seemed to stand still now im so lost , feels like im cut in two , hate diving in and out door, and especially with my stalker right opposite , nothing feels right , get so angry with him for leaving me here ...........
Hi Wishy ,how are you its been a while since i spoke to you ,i still have good days and bad days i go out with my children ,its not the same as going out with hubby,im not looking forward to the dark nights coming ,the house feels empty now its going to feel worse in winter,but we just have to get on with things take care Syl x
Hi Syl I'm doing ok thanks like you I have good days and bad ones it's hard just now cos friends are starting to come for holidays so I'm having to go through explaining what happened I get upset then later I'm ok knowing my friends are here for me tomorrow one of my friends is taking me into Granada to see the Alhambra really looking forward to that I been living in Spain for 12year and I've never seen it we will be spending the night in a hotel and going for a massage I too am not looking forward to winter the nights are so long it's nearly 4months since I lost my Paco I miss him so much love to you x
Hi wishy, glad your ok i think we all have good and bad days its nice for you to get away for a few days a change does every one good .What is a Alhambra i have never heard of it , its now nearly 6 month for me some times it seems like yesterday ,some times it seems a life time ago ,i talk to him all the time and kiss his photo makes me feel better take care Syl x
Hi uthe Alhambra is a very very old Arabic palace and fortress with lots of great architecture it took more than 4 hours to go around in 39 degrees it was exhausting but lovely to see we went into an old cathedral as well and I lit a candle for my Paco all in all I had a nice time see my profile pic of me and my friend with the Alhambra behind us at night all lit up take care x
Hi you both look like you had a nice time even in all that heat, when me and hubby went away we used to explore the country we were in we wernt ones for siting on the beach.had my dinner out today with my sister and her partner it was very nice, its not the same as having dinner out with my hubby there is so many things that are different now that im on my own im sure you must feel the same . take care Syl x
