Its 14 wks since i lost my husband,  have had a lovely day out with my son wish my husband could have been with us,i know how you feel .had a cry after my son left its good to cry makes you feel a bit better people tell me it will take time all we can do is  take one day at a time  regards  sylvia x

Thanks for that I seen to be crying a lot I did go for a walk today I went to our cortigo where we used to have goats and sheep they have now been sold but it's now all empty and it just looks so sad just miss him so much her was only 49 I have a son in the army but he's in England and I'm here in Spain he's coming home again next week I can't wait sending hugs to you 

Thanks for that I seen to be crying a lot I did go for a walk today I went to our cortigo where we used to have goats and sheep they have now been sold but it's now all empty and it just looks so sad just miss him so much her was only 49 I have a son in the army but he's in England and I'm here in Spain he's coming home again next week I can't wait sending hugs to you 

Wishy, I  so sorry you are feeling so bad but totally understand, 49 is so young it's so unfair, been seven months for me and am going through a really bad patch at the moment, there is stuff going on at work and I just need to talk to  Sam about it, life is really hard at the moment he made everything ok.  Take care. Debbie xxxx 

Hi wishy, not heard off you in a while hope you are ok not been to good  this week  cant seem to  shake this sadness off, may be these feelings will come and go for a while yet.i have a friend who lost her hubby 6 yrs ago  she still  feels the same but not as much as she use to . regards Syl x

Hi syl I've not been too good this last week or so sometimes I think I'm going to crack up can't bare the loneliness at night Paco is on my mind constantly yeah ok I sometimes smile but then I think of something and cry it's been 11 weeks now I just miss him so much my heart is broken I sometimes think will I ever laugh again I know I'm still young and got the rest of my life to live but I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with we loved each other so much but we never knew this cancer was going to take him so quickly it's so cruel I try keep busy but it's the nights in bed alone I hate .some people say I should be feeling a bit Bette by now but to me it still feels like yesterday and know he's not suffering any more which brings me some comfort but now I'm the one suffering the loss of him thanks for asking after me sending hugs x 

Hello, it's a tough personal journey. Ignore anyone who tries to tell you how you should grieve and to what timescales. You take everything at your own pace. Take care x

Hi wishy ,sorry your feeling down its ok to feel like you do we are both still feeling raw at the moment, i feel ok some times other times i cry all the time ,people say its part of the grieving process, i also hate night time i sleep with his  dressing gown  in bed  with me ,it makes me feel better,maybe in a few month i can put it back in the wardrobe. take care Syl x

I feel like you both, some days the pain is unbearable and I feel I can't carry on. What I can't understand is my husband had two tumours on his liver both under 3cm but I was told that there was nothing that could be done and chemo would kill him within days. My husband was told that he had unknown primary cancer that had spread to his liver . In this day and age why couldn't they find the primary and maybe treat it. My husband died 4 days after diagnosis, life is so unfair. I just want to be with him my life ended when he passes away.

Hi to all of you, especially those who have lost their partners. My husband had bladder cancer and died 2 1/2 years ago. As Michelle has said grief is individual and nobody has the right to tell you how to grieve or how long it takes, especially if they have never been there themselves.

Most of you seem to be in the early stages, where grief can be all-consuming, but it can come in waves. Just when you think you are coping to some degree it comes back at you, and anything can trigger it- anniversaries, a piece of music, a photograph, a place which holds memories. At firdt it can simply be surviving from one day to the next or even one hour to the next. It takes time, but slowly it does become less intense, and you may find yourself enjoying yourself or laughing. Don't feel guilty as I am sure your loved ones would not want to see you suffering. There will still be bad times, but these will become less frequent or long-lasting.

One problem is that a lot of people don't understand as they haven't been there. It can help just talking to others who have, on a forum like this or in a bereavement group if you can find one locally. After 6 months I felt I was going mad, but then I joined a forum for widowed people, and as soon as I started reading the posts I realised that other people out there were feeling the same and struggling like I was. The forum I am in is called Way Up which is for people over 50, the Way Foundation is for people who are widowed under 50. Maybe you may want to look at these. In the mean time keep on posting on here too.

Hugs to all, Gill x

Maxmip i understand how you feel, my hubby had a tumour in his lung  that spread to his brain,they were giving him tests for twelve month before they found it,if they had found the tumour in his lung  sooner they could have operated but by then it was to late he had radeum for the brain tumour but it didnt work.life is unfair people say things happen for a reason maybe we will find out why one day take care Syl x

HI so hard seem to cry so much , 3 weeks now and ist all likeyesterday, i try to go out but hate it on my own ,flat is so empty i think i need to move , ilive on site as retirement schem emanger and have been here yaers with him so many memories of the job/home etc , cant get away from it anywhere and some people are not very nice , feel like telling them to shut up but cant cos its my job to be polite ,must move away then maybe ill feel better about coming into work , job changing in ayear anyway and prob get redundancy in a year , he knew and used to say get what you can , wait for that (been here 26 yaers) and get out of it ,just didnt realies how hard it would be to go to my flat upstairs  from their lounge and laundry , they are around me constantly and one opposite  my flat is vile , she stood and watched by her window  paramedics and hearse colect his body then rushed around knocking on doors to gossip, then had nerve to turn up at funeral, i bit my tongue and said thanks for coming and guess what ,,, she snaps here for mole, not you ......she was lucky she didnt stay there ...feel so angry now cant even bear to say good morning to her , so trapped, i used to come up and have moan and a laugh with him about it all, now theres no one to tell..... so sad , dont think ill ever get through this