Hi Eunice,

Sorry about your mum. My mum had ovarian cancer, and died end of Sept. She had it a couple of years. But August she wasn't too bad but then when down quite quickly. A real shock in many ways.

So 4 months is not long to get your head round.

Ovarian cancer is horrible , just to get someone to find whats wrong I had to take her to the A and E in end. As GP's have no clue.

I wished I could talk to my mum as she was so chatty and my best friend.

At the start it's very painful, and feels like times stopped. I feel some better after 6 months with less pain. But lifes not the same. I go to a breavement point for a coffee morning, as it does help talking to others.

Hi

I took mum to A and E too..the gp was treating her for infected diverticulitis. ...my mum was my closest friend and I realise I don't really have much relationship with my dad.I want her back so much and I guess that's just part of the pain.I can rationalise and be philosophical but it doesn't stop the grieving.She had chemo for afew months as they told her she had a chance but I'm was never convinced then as she was so ill they stopped it ...and it was downhill fast after that.You watch these movies were people are dying and that look the same and can still talk and look at You and it's nothing like that  ..like you say life's not the same

Thanks for your reply. Take care ofyourself.

Hi again,

Mum's GP said she was depressed, another didn't want to give her scan for 12 weeks , even though legs and stomach blew up twice the size in a few days.

Sometimes I feel guilty, that I know people on here are dying with cancer my age. Im lucky and should be lliving live to the full. But when some you love dies, your whole live is upside, so it's not the same life anymore. So it's no easy to jump back in to life. No rush, as grieving needs to be done. Even it's very painful grieving it lets it out.

Maybe you will get closer to your dad, I wasn't as close to my dad than my mum. Seeing cancer took my dad too, 10 years ago. I didn't think poor mum would get it too. I would have thought she could have aleast been saved. Mum gave life to life.

Take care on this hard road.