My husband died just over 5 weeks ago and it was his birthday on Sunday.  I felt very calm for the first 2 weeks and even now I can feel ok then just burst into tears.  People tell me I will get over it (the ones who have never been through it)  I know I won't get over missing him but I will learn to live with it.  John had lymphoma 4 years ago and was told in Sept it is unlikely to return but from Christmas Day he went downhill and doctors couldn't find out what was wrong , he was admitted to hospital with sepsis in March and spent 3 weeks in while they try to figure out what was causing his rapid weight loss. I took him home on 31st March as he wasn't getting any treatment.  He didn't want any doctors or nurses and didn't want a hospital bed in the house just his close family.  He died on 2nd April.  It was very peaceful and he was in no pain and was communicating right up till the end.  On his discharge letter it stated unable to find cause of illness but maybe blood cancer or lung cancer but further tests required.   I feel lost at times especially when I'm driving as we were always together .  All my friends have returned to their own lives but in trying to keep busy and taken over the garden and the greenhouse.