Hi Jules,its still nice and warm here at the moment im not sleeping very well with the heat,dont sleep well at the best of times some times i have a couple of glasses of wine that seems to do the trick .me and hubby have been to Albufeira a long time ago i remember here was a steep hill you had to walk up , it was called cardiac hill you can guess why ,you could go into one of the hotels use the lift and you ended up missing the hill ican tell you the lift was very popular, from what i remember it was a lovely place.for some reason and i dont know why i assumed you were retired you seem to live a very active life with children and granchildren and dont get much time to fit work in, i retired  19 month ago iwas a cleaner for over 32 years my hubby finished 12 month before me.   i had my ECG to day at the doctors every thing ok the nurse seems to think it could be stress and anxiety  it could well be with all the crying  and sadness i have felt over the last 5 month have a nice week end Syl x

Hi Syl,

I am also struggling with the heat at night and now have the fan on (temperature in the room reached 34 degs last night and I seriously considered sleeping the in the lounge!!  It is quite normal for me to wake   You are right about the hill at the resort.  We are hoping to get our exercise that way and the two little ones will have the buggies (handy for transporting water and wine!!).  There are restaurants in the old town square so probably will not need to got to the main 'strip' for meals as only there for five full days.  I first went there with my parents when it was surrounded by lavendar fields.

I think you could call me three quarters retired.  I only work just over 10 hrs a week having reduced my hours when the tax man started chomping at my bereavenment pension/private pension from hubby.  I see no point in working for nothing and so will manage until I am allowed to fully retire and get the state pension (because of my date of birth I will not qualify for another 5 years.  Of course if I win the lottery things could change h a ha.  Sadly hubby never reached retirement age but as he loved his work doubt he would have given up without it being forced upon him through his health.

Really good news that the ECG showed no problems.  The anxiety and stress surrounding our lives could certainly account for feeling under par.  That was when my BP peaked and myGP kept a close eye on me  but thankfully with taking up the gym and increasing my exercise and trying to curb the comfort eating I am a lot healthier now (so they tell me!).

Take care and enjoy the spell of summer we are having just now.  Jules x

HiJules glad your enjoying the weather at the moment ,its spitting with rain where i am but its still warm,went out  to Ness Botanic gardens Cheshire yesterday with my daughter and partner,it was a lovely day but every time i go some where like that i have a good cry when i come back wishing my hubby was with us.we enjoyed going round garden centres and gardens .going out for Sunday lunch later with  my son and daughter hope you enjoy the rest of the wk end  Syl x

Hi Syl

Luckily no rain during the daytime here over the weekend so was able to enjoy the garden when I was not preparing the food for Sunday.  Family arrived between 11 and 12.30 and once lunch was enjoyed my son and son in law played with the lads out side whilst my daughter, future daughter in law  and myself stayed in the cool of the lounge with baby Darcey.  It was lovely catching up with all their news and getting plans in place for our holiday trip.  Does seem rather strange facing the first family holiday abroad since hubby died but I know he would have been pleased for us all in that we can spend time together.

Glad you enjoyed  your time at the Botanic Gardens and it is often that way I found.  You can enjoy the time when you are actually there but upon reflection afterwards there is the sadness that our partners are not there to enjoy it too. It just shows that there is a gap in our lives for the love that we have lost and crying is part of that emotional rollercoaster.  It is just little steps that move us forward on our own journey forward now.

Today I looked after Darcey whilst her Mum enjoyed a short swim and a sauna before taking the baby for her first set of innoculations. I also had a friend come for coffee before we went for a browse around the local shops and a light lunch. Very pleasant.  She then caught the tube back home and I popped to the gym before coming back and sitting in the garden where I managed to finished my book which at least means I can begin a new one on holiday.  Will visit myMum tomorrow before doing my last two days work before I go away.  Looking forward to a curry on Thursday evening and have a pamper day on Friday with hair, manicure and pedicure which should set the mood nicely for our relaxing break.

Be kind to yourself and take care.  Jules x

Hi jules, had a lovely sunday lunch with my son and daughter after they left had a good cry again , feel quite lonely at times the things that keep me occupied  a few days a week have stopped now  till september ,still see my friend wednesday,still go to bingo wednesday night with my other friend but apart from that  im on my own.its nice to think your geting ready for your hols its nice to be pampered once in a while its some thing to look forward to.the weather here has changed here as well not as nice as last week ,but at least i can still take my neighbours dog george out for a walk it gets me out of the house even if its only for half an hour. havnt heard off Debbie or Wishy for a while hope there ok regards Syl x

Hi Syl

It is nice to spend some time with family and friends and then have a flexible routine to be able to do what you need to do at other times. My hubby used to work away from home on and off throughout the year and so I suppose I was used to having time on my own and maybe that has made it a little more helpful in making the adjustment since his death.  Sadly during his three year journey the illness also caused him to withdraw into himself a great deal  and my doctor considers that I had done a lot of grieving during that time even thoughI had not realised it.

I have always loved walking(just as well as I dont drive) and I do not need a reason to just go out and walk.  Certainly during the first year of widowhood I walked for hours on some days and put my life through the mill in my head a few times. Having work done on the house earlier this year gave  me another focus and I am finding the home a more peaceful place to be these days. I do not have many friends close by but a couple I see from time to time.  My 'bingo buddy' moved six months after we lost hubby (her husband was my other half's best pal and they have been supportive throughout) andI would have continued to go on a Friday night but the place closed down when the lease ran out so that was a regular social evening lost; a real shame.

Am off to work shortly (the money comes in handy otherwise I would retire completely) but do wonder if I did not have that a couple of days a week whether I would consider doing some volunteer week to keep some motivation going.  Something I might consider in the future.  For now I concentrate on living day to day and making the best of what hubby worked so hard hard to provide for me. I hope he would be proud of the way we honour his memory as we carry him in our hearts  always.

Be kind to yourself and take care.  Jules x

Hi Jules, me again not feeling to bad at the moment  went to bingo on wed there s three of us that go when some one wins we share , so i ended up with 6 pound which will pay for next week. Weather ok at the moment managed to take next doors dog for a walk,i also like walking ,i do drive i only drive from A to B but i can at least go to the super market  to get my shopping.hope you have a nice holiday and enjoy some  sun and relaxation regard Syl x

Hi Debbie, how are you not heard off you for a while , im not to bad at the moment still have days where i cry go ok for a few days then cry again. not doing much at the moment the few things that i do have stopped now till september. i still hate the nights it gets lonely on your own, hope your ok regards Syl x

Hi Syl,

Thanks for  your best wishes for our family holiday.  Just the packing to do and we go tomorrow.  Am certainly hoping for wall to wall sunshine and the benefits of air con at the villa!

Showery here at present but am popping to the gym shortly and will probably go for a walk.  If the sun breaks through willl put my feet up in the garde and have a relaxing read this afternoon.

Take care and hope bingo brings some more wins (even sharing enough to buy the books helps) to you and your friends.  I used to go every Friday when my friend and hard to believe its over a year since the hall closed down. The nearest one to me now is a couple of buses away and so I miss that social outing.  Will however catch up with my friend and her husband when I return from this holiday.  They moved last year and I get to have a 'sleepover' when I visit.

Take care and hopefully will chat again upon my return.  Jules x