Hi Jules ,glad you had a nice time with both your children and stayed over at your son's it's nice when families get together , forgot to tell you I went for blood tests last week , I've been getting a lot of cramp in my left leg at night and my toes feel numb the results were a lack of folic acid in my blood so he has given me tablets to take , it's not has bad now but I have got back ache now the joys of growing old lol so I am rubbing cream on , will see how it is next week .went to my community centre Tuesday with my friends it was going to close in October but now it's November we are hoping someone is going to come forward and help to keep it open it would be a shame if it had to close as a lot of people use it. I'm feeding the birds I have more pigeons than anything else my hedgehog is still coming into the garden so I'm putting food out for him has well.my son and his friend are away Sunday there going to Oman for a weeks holiday not a place I would choose,I'm hoping I'm out tomorrow Saturday with my daughter as it breaks the weekend up I'm not out Sunday so will do my own dinner.have a lovely week regards Syl  x

Hi Syl,

Hope the folic acid tablets work for your leg problem (used to take these during both my pregnancies lol). What a shame you now have back problems.  I still get a few problems with my hip but manage with over the counter meds as and when.  Have found the more walking I do the better it is (apparently that lubicates the joints lol),  Just back home from my 10,000 steps round the local track. It has been a beatufiul couple of days here so have spent a lot of time outside.  Washing also getting dried in the garden and no heating required. A real bonus at this time of year.  Went with friends to a BBQ at the weekend held locally. Was a really good social event; well attended and they raised some funds with the raffle (luckily I did not have to carry anything home!!) and the live band was brilliant.  No plans as yet for the coming weekend but away the weekend after so something to look forward to. Wildlife still visiting the garden and lawn still  being mowed. I have lilies, roses, aster, fuschia, nerene bowdenii and the buddlieas still blooming which is great.  Will have to cover over sprouting spring bulbs  so protect from the first frosts when they arrive!!  Have a good week and take care of yourself.x

Hi Jules ,not had a good week all I seem to do is cry feel so lonely now I don't speak to my sister even though I didn't see  her much of her I miss speaking to her ,feel so alone now . went to my son's for dinner with my daughter and her partner all we did was argue about how negative I am which is true it's gone worse since my husband died now my sister ,I have a feeling they don't want to be around me any more has I'm such a negative person.,I might ring the doctor this week to see if they can help , we have had some wet weather this week,no thunderstorms though like they have in different parts of the country.glad you enjoyed your BBQ with your friends even though you didn't win it's still nice to get out and see friends, hoping you enjoy your weekend with friends , let me know where your going? don't think I will need to mow my lawns now till spring have cut my bushes back  so should be ok till then,the little hedgehog is still coming in my garden so I'm feeding him every night,think he eats slugs and snails as well,I'm out Thursday with the ladies from my friendship group we have organised a meal at a local pub I think I will have to push myself to go has I don't feel like doing anything at the moment I will probably be alright once I'm there have a lovely week regards Syl x

HiH Syl,

Sorry for the late response but has been an up and down fiew days.  

I hope you have rung your doctor to see if he can help with your feelings of grief and loneliness which have become worse since the loss of your sister. I never had siblings and the only relative I now have other than the kids is my Mum's sister who is 92 now and though we speak weekly since Mum died I have not seen since 2008!!  It is very sad indeed that your own children made you feel sad with their own reactions but I am sure they may have their own life issues to deal with and perhaps it just came out wrong on the day you got together. It is so difficult to put on positive feelings in front of others when you feel low.  Hopefully the GP can refer you for bereavement counselling.  Several of my friends and my daughter and grandson use a talking therapies helpline after referrals and it is sometimes easier chatting to those who are not emotionally linked to a situation.  Your children albeit adults have their own loss to cope with as they lost their Dad and now an aunt and I do find it difficult watching my children trying to channel their grief which can very often come out as anger or impatience.  This time of year does not make it any easier.

My weekend away should have been to Princess Risborough with the evening out in Marlow but unfortunately my friends had sad news themselves and it was not appropriate to go stay with them and so I had a weekend at home as usual.  We will get together once they are up to entertaining again. As I was not away I went into London on Saturday and it was a beautiful day to walk a couple of the London parks.  I usually only see the family about once a month or so depending on when our diaries can match up.  It could be after Christmas now till I see my daughter and family as they are busy working and then are away for the Christmas School holidays and it is their turn to be at my son in law's Dad's for Christmas itself.  We will catch up in the early New Year.  I had a trip to the cinema last week and saw Mrs Harris Goes to Paris and would thoroughly recommend it; just a lovely gentle film and I came out smiling.

Having my hair cut later today and then at the gym later this afternoon where they are doing a special evening with an open evening with 'trick or treat' lucky dip for any children that pop in.  I do not get involved generally with Halloween but will stay and help out so have a witch's hat at the ready lol.

We too have had a few showery days so have been wearing my waterproofs (invested in 'overtrousers' too) so I can still enjoying going for my walks without getting soaked if I want to leave the brolly at home!  Yesterday I left in rain and headed to the station but then enjoyed over 5hrs walking around Kew Gardens enjoying the views and wildlife on the lake and there were even some sunny intervals so stayed dry.  No other plans this week but then I usually make up my mind what to do once I get back from my pre breakfast stroll, now being done in the dark as Autumn/Winter begins.

I cannot believe the garden; still have roses, lilies, sweet peas and sedum and salvias in bloom.  Glad you still have a hedgehog to feed.  I have a 'house' for them but no residents for a few years now (probably home to the woodmouse and bugs though ha ha).  Foxes are still being seen on my night camera and viewing that and talking with my online wildlife groups helps keep me on the straight and narrow.  All my bulbs are  now planted and it is just general deadheading and feeding the birds now.  Still so mild which is definitely going to help with the energy bills as not needed to put the heating on apart from the odd hour so far.  Even getting the washing dry outdoors occasionally.  Does not feel at all right for the end of October but enjoying the sunshine again this morning.   Hope it stays dry later for the hairdressers.   

Take care of yourself and do hope you can get the help you need.  Sending best wishes and a hug.  Jules x

Hi Jules ,sorry for the moan I feel a bit better this week I had a look on the internet and I have booked a session with cruse the offer bereavement counseling over the phone it's a six week course they ring you once a week a lady has just rung me it's good to talk to someone so hopefully that will help me to feel a bit better .sorry you didn't get your weekend away life gets in the way and we can't do anything about it,I'm glad you enjoyed your walks round the parks of London it is nice to walk round the parks it's nice to hear the birds singing especially with the dark nights coming now, went to my dementia group Wednesday we are having a Christmas party on the 14 December so that should be good ,I met up with some of the ladies from my friendship group last week it was nice to catch up with them ,we have arranged a Christmas lunch for December at a local pub so that should be nice.im still taking the tablets the doctor gave me for the cramp I'm getting at night ,to be honest they don't seem to be doing much good will take them but if it's no better will ring the doctor again, they don't seem to bother seeing you now all they do is dish tablets out which isn't good. I have made a appointment with my hairdresser for the end of the month will have my colour on and a cut and blow it will be ok then till the new year, might nip into town tomorrow I haven't been for a couple of weeks I'm sure I will Go to Costa for a coffee and t cake lol not sure what I'm doing at the weekend can't do much in the garden now I've still got my roses out but my other plants have died off now have a lovely week regards Syl x 

Hi Jules , I'm having a phone call sometime in the next fortnight from the cruse councillor th e first one that rang just wanted my details so will have to wait till they ring ,the weather here has been mild as well we have had a bit of rain but not much considering the time of year.glad your enjoying your out door activities it is nice to get out and about  especially with the weather being mild ,I have been town today Friday bought a few things for Christmas and got my Christmas cards (I don't feel like having Xmas ) but I know my sister would want me to so will carry on I'm hoping I will see my neice and my sister's partner before the 25th so I can pass on presents.hope you enjoyed your walk and lunch with your friend,I had my Sunday dinner last week with my son we went to a local pub they do a carvary I had a small plate so I could fit a pudding in lol which was very yummy, hopefully I am out tomorrow Saturday with my daughter to a local garden centre then tea time I am dog sitting my son is going out for a meal with friends as it's some ones birthday,I'm hoping to be home about 9 30 Sunday I'm doing my own dinner this week ,next week it's just my usual  things have got quite a few things going on in December I have put them all on my calendar I'm hoping I don't get them mixed up lol have a lovely week regards Syl x 

Hi Syl,

Rain here overnight and more promised later. Did a pre breakfast exercise walk which at least was in the dry even though dark!! Hope the Cruse people get back in touch as agree that is sometimes easier to talk things through with those not emotionally linked to your own loss but who offer a listening ear.  I was lucky enough to have that help for a few months from hubby's GP who I saw regularly for as long as we thought it was needed.  You are right that your sister would want you to  keep doing what you would normally do and am sure that is what keeps a lot of us moving forward even on those tough days.Wherever and whatever we are *** we take them along with us in our hearts.

Weather was really good at the weekend so on Saturday having no plans I went to some local lakes for my walk (one is a nature reserve and so peaceful early morning).  The lakes border part of the Grand Union Canal and whilst I walked the towpath I stopped to talk to a volunteer who helps run boat trips and ended up on the boat for a 45min trip. Just 8 of us on board and all able to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine on our faces and the tranquility that being on the canal brings. A real bonus. I made my way home via the underground just as the sun was setting and arrived back at my local station just as the Mayor was swtching on our high street's Christmas Lights towards the end of the Fun Day.  Had a look round the stalls, made a couple of purchases and saw a few friends along the way before getting home in time to get my dinner.  A real day out!  Other than that just my usual activities through the gym and walks with a friend.

I have my son and family coming to lunch on Saturday; first time in ages and last catch up before Christmas with them I should think so will cook us all a roast. My daughter in law has her birthday a few days later so an early celebratory cake might be called for lol.

Hope you have a good week and take care of yourself.  Best regards. Jules x

Hi Jules , sounds as if you had some nice walks especially near a lake and a reserve it is nice to walk near rivers and lakes I think water makes you relaxed and gives you a sense of peace,I haven't heard off cruse yet they said it could be a couple of weeks as they have a waiting list think there is a lot of sadness in the world at the moment . have been to my exercise class this afternoon  haven't had George out today has it's been raining most of the day pretty miserable really I'm hoping it's going to be a bit better tomorrow so I can take him for his walk.went t my dementia group Wednesday was discussing the Xmas party which is on the 14 December I'm taking sausage rolls I might buy them all ready done as my cooker isn't that good and it will be easier for me ,we had a nice time last week so it's something to look forward to ,I'm glad you enjoyed your boat trip that is one of my favourite things we had a few of those when we had our friendship group I do miss that it was our local canal and we stopped off at a pub for lunch something we all enjoyed . hope you enjoyed lunch with your family and enjoyed your roast dinner  I did my own dinner last week  not sure what I'm doing this weekend I'm going marks Saturday with my daughter if the weather is ok we might go to a local park to feed the birds and squirrels, they have a little zoo as well so might have a walk round there too not sure what I'm doing Sunday I have a feeling we might be having dinner with my son  I know the forecast isn't good over the weekend or next week plenty of rain my front lawn could do with a last cut before winter sets in wether I get the chance is another mater have a lovely week regards Syl x 

Hi Syl,

Hope all ok with you.Son and family were here for Sunday lunch  and the day passed so quickly.  A good few hours enjoyed.  Weather has been pretty dismal but I went into the local town to meet a friend for a catch up on Monday and we found a lovely little cafe for coffee and a mince pie before putting up the brollies and walking round the Christmas Market.  Yesterday was completely the opposite and beautiful sunshine all day for our day in London.  Around ten miles strolled enjoying the views from various Christmas light installations and took a walk along the Thames after a pub lunch. Today was just a normal gym first thing and then  back home.  They say tomorrow should start bright so will hopefully get a decent walk in again locally after an early breakfast.  I am out in the evening but will pick  up a takeaway on the way home. Sunday lunch out this weekend as I am invited to go to my daughter in law's parents so we can all help  her celebrate her birthday which falls on the Saturday.  That will be another week done and dusted.  Like you my lawn also could do with a cut but it is looking more and more unlikely though I did mow it well into December last year so we shall see.  Foxes are still passing through in the evening/night so I have the joy of watching them via the night camera. Still have roses and salvia blooming and the wild patch I made earlier this year has really sprung to life so at least the rain is doing some good!!   Hope you have a good week ahead.  Take care. Jules xx