Syliva, I am so very sorry for your loss, I know how it feels, my husband passed away in October and I miss him so much, I too wish they could let us know they are ok.  There are lots of people on here going through the same terrible time who will offer support.  Sending love to you Debbie xxxxxx

Hi debbie, how are you havnt heard off you in a while i feel ok at the moment health wise ,got to go the hospital next month  to see about my breathing me and the kids just having a quite xmas dinner we will go to the crem  to put flowers on my parents grave ,we will put some flowers in a vase for my hubby ,it is my hubbys birthday on the 27 dec  might go for a walk weather permiting  to a place called spike island my hubby used to like watching the mersey from there .  Take care  have a peaceful xmas  will be thinking of you  Syl x

Hi Jules, i am sat in my pyjamas watching the telly so thought i would send you a e-mail  its a lovely jesture you son  has made to donate money to the asbestos charity  at there wedding i am sure people will think it is a good idea.i dont feel to bad at the moment, its funny how feelings take over  and you feel  sad all over again then it  passes till the next  time. dont think i am doing much sat  might go to the garden centre for bird food , my sister might nip down  as well .your pedicure sounded nice its something i have never tried it looks very relaxing  when you see it done on the telly.my son is still working in London me and my daughter are going to his on Sunday for dinner, he does a nice Sunday lunch. also my daughter is taking 3 month off work to persue other things  she is going to to some  voluntary work  at an animal  charity near where she lives, also she is doing an MVQ for work  so she is  finishing that off. i am  helping her with her bills so she can do it.she is hopeing to fit a holiday in as well .have a nice weekend  regards Syl x

Hi Syl,

Good that you felt ok and comfy when you last posted. Emotions are strange as they seem to catch you unwares at times.  I had a few 'weary' days last week but am okay just now so maybe turned another corner!

Had a good day with my daughter and grandsons yesterday and was out to lunch which is always enjoyable. After an early breakfast and the gym this morning I walked to our local Farmers'Market and enjoyed a freshly brewed coffee in the old barn (free newspaper to read too).  Been there about 15mins when my daughter and the boys strolled in so we wandered the stalls together and they chose their favourite cheeses and locally produced jams/fudge to take home.  Little Zack also had his face painted before they settled down to play at the lego table for a bit whilst daughter and I sat and nattered before setting back towards home.  As it's over a mile and the boys had walked there, they caught the bus home as my daughter had also done some supermarket shopping.  I left them at the bus stop and walked back home.  Dry and cold but very pleasant way to spend the morning.

Hope you enoy the meal at your son's and how lovely that you are in a position to help with your daughter's three months break from work; I hope she achieves all she sets out to do in that time.

My daughter and family are still waiting to hear when their moving date is  so that they can start the job of 'packing up' but the solictors/estate agents are aiming at end of this month or beginning of March which at least makes it the other side of the wedding.  Exciting times ahead for them.

Take care and sending hugs.  Jules xx 

Hi Debbie, glad your not shutting your self away like i thought you was , its nice to do things with your  sister and nieces, i know how you feel ,i dont like going to places i went with hubby , some times if a  sea side comes on the telly i cry  becaues we loved going to them places .its strange really what goes  threw  your mind. take care of your self Syl x

Hi Jules ,glad you had a lovely time at the farmers market with your family , i like going to those markets you can get some lovely cheeses and meats from them .had dinner at my sons it was very nice .today Monday  the weather is lovely took george out  for his walk , just watching telly at the moment ,going to my aerobics class later on .have also booked a holiday in July with my friend  on a coach trip to  Bournmouth its with shearings, but i dont know wether i have done the right thing,i feel a bit apprehensive  but the kids and my sister have said  i should go i have booked separate rooms ,at least i can go to my room and have  a cry if ifeel sad  and it wont  embarrass any one  enjoy your week  regards Syl x

Hi Syl

I too came back from the Farmers' Market with cheese (a big weakness of mine!!). I go to the same stall usually twice a month and am now on their 'good deals' list as he often rounds the prices down.

Glad you had a nice lunch with your son and made the most of the nice weather by taking George for his walk.  What breed is he?

Hope the aerobics class went well; it is nice to be able to socialise when you feel up to it.  I sometimes think I exercise my mouth more than my body when I go to the gym but then I am not the only one.

I certainly felt aprehensive when I started taking even day trips but going with a friend gives you someone to talk to so is a shared experience and as you say if you feel like your own company you can pop to your room.  Bournemouth has plenty to offer (have spent a good few weekends there over the years) and my son has just returned from having his stag weekend down there (I doubt we would be interest in quad biking and shooting though haha).  I love sitting in the Winter Gardens and watching the world go by.  I have now had three holidays with the children which were lovely but my next hurdle will be my solo trip to Jersey in June (still aprehensive but also loooking forward to it, if that makes sense).  I like to think that if my mother at aged 83 could go on a coaching holiday by herself then I should manage too.

I have now finished work for 2 weeks and have this weekend free at the moment so no sure what I will do though suspect it will depend on the weather which is supposed to be pretty cold.

Take care and hope you are having a peaceful week.  Jules xx

Hi Jules, just come back from my daughters after having Sunday lunch  with her ,went to a lovely garden centre yesterday with her , its masive they sell clothes, toys, kitchen things  as well as a pet centre  and other things, we were there for about  3 hrs we had  a coffee in the cafe as well,managed to buy my self a couple of jumpers  and my daughter some gloves and bits and  pieces as she has booked a holiday called Trek America where  you  go round the  parks camping and doing other things, i didnt wont her to go  as she meets up with the others in L A, so she is on her own till   then im a born worrier  so dont feel happy about  her going . hope you enjoy your time off work its nice to have time to your self with out   looking at the clock  all the time.  im glad you have a chat  at the gym sometimes its  good to have a natter  while you exersice sometimes i  spend to much time on my own,at least i have my Friendship group  tomorrow, we are going to a local  pub  in the morning for tea and  toast  they also do a good breakfast as well which they serve till 2 0 clock  the weather here at the moment is really cold it is surpposed to be warming up this week  we live in hope. so hopefullygeorge will have a few good walks this week he his a jet black spaniel  you can picture him  now i have told you what he looks like.enjoy you week off regards Syl x

Hi Syl

Your garden centre trip sounds very similar to where I went yesterday so maybe a similar chain! I was there with my future daughter in law's Mum and we enjoyed a coffee followed by a wander around all the different retail outlets (I bought a new pair of trainers) which we then loaded in her car.  By this time is was lunch time so we returned to the on site restaurant and had lunch together too. With the wedding on Friday there was plenty to chat about.  We then popped to see her daughter and our grand daughter for about an hour and Imarvel at how cool, calm and collected she is but then she is a great list maker and organiser.  Hoping for a dry day for us all of course.

Hope you had a good time at the Friendship Club and with the improved weather no doubt George is getting his walks too.  He sounds lovely.  I have never owned a dog but hubby's family always had one and his brother still has two, a German Shepherd and a Husky. 

It is lovely to spend time with your children and you will miss your daughter when she goes travelling but I bet she will be in contact regularly with exciting news of her journey. When does she go?  I do think as Mothers we would always worry when things are outside our control.  I remember when my daughter had her first holiday without us at only 17 but o course she was fine and had a fab time meeting people of similar ages and all part of life experiences. I have never been to America though my hubby travelled there on business many times.

Visited my Mum today and then was at the gym, a pretty routine day but was perked up by seeing my crocuses in full bloom when I came back; surprising how quickly they react to a day of sun like yesterday. Is my daughter's birthday today and so tomorrow we are both going to get our nails done for the wedding so will hear all about her gifts and the meal out she had with my son in law and the boys for lunch. Seems hard to believe she is 35 and my son will be 32 next week. I do wonder where the time goes sometimes and then at other times it feels just like yesterday.

Well, best stop rambling and answer some more mail.  Take care. Jules x

Hi jules,  hope your feeling calm  about the wedding it is surpposed to be a  nice few days so you might have a nice sunny day ,it is a nice day here took george out for a nice walk  just sat having a coffee now. my garden is looking a bit of a mess at the moment im not very good at growing things, hubby used to chop away at things but they always  seemed to grow  back again. my daughter goes away the begining of April till the end of April not sure of the exact dates yet. i also wonder where the time goes my son is  44 in August  and my daughter is 39 in march . Dont know what  im doing at week end  not got anything planned for Saturday, Sunday going out  for Sunday dinner  with my sister as its her birthdayhope she likes her present. I am going to sit  and  relax now and read my local paper for half an hour have a lovely  time at your sons wedding hope all goes well  spk to you soon regards Syl x

Hi Debbie, how are you im  not to bad at the moment , i am like you i dont like going to places whwre i have been with hubby it fetches back so many memories we loved going to Chester, LLandudno, the last place we went was Chester Zoo we had a lovely day with my daughter and her partner, i  dont think i could go to any of them places yet maybe some time in the future.  i hope Jules had a nice day at her sons wedding it was on Friday take care  Syl x

Hi Debbie, how are you im  not to bad at the moment , i am like you i dont like going to places whwre i have been with hubby it fetches back so many memories we loved going to Chester, LLandudno, the last place we went was Chester Zoo we had a lovely day with my daughter and her partner, i  dont think i could go to any of them places yet maybe some time in the future.  i hope Jules had a nice day at her sons wedding it was on Friday take care  Syl x

Hi Debbie , glad  your feeling better and you have joined a gym its nice to do things that you enjoy  and gets you fit at the same time, hope you manage to get in the garden, its awful here at the moment with the rain  not took george out for  a few days ,so feel a bit  shut in at the moment , the weather is surpposed to be bad all week, take care  Syl x

Hi Debbie, hope your ok, not feeling to bad at the moment i will admit i have had a few bad days  just lately , i surpose we will feel like that  then you get on with things again. hope your still going to the gym i am still doing swimming aerobics  somtimes i have to force my self to go but once im there im glad i went. let me know your ok  regards  Syl x