Hi Debbie

Nice to see you posting and offering support to other forum users too.  The mutual understanding means a lot to them I am sure. 

When the time is right you will eventually feel able to accept social invitations.  The first time takes a lot of effort (and deep breathing!!) but once I had taken that initial step I found it a little easier.  It is also still pretty early days for you.  Possibly it was a little easier for me, as due to hubby travelling away for sometimes weeks at a time, I was already used to doing a few things on my own  but nonetheless always felt and sometimes still do get anxious before setting off.  The gym is my main social outlet now and am lucky to see my children/grandchildren once or twice a month (keeping in contact by text/facebook at other times).  Having said that becuase of various events have done a bit of babysitting (like tonight) and am still doing two shifts at work.  Approaching my second Christmas without hubby and the anniversary of  his death in January I do sometimes question where that time has gone and then on other days it all feels like yesterday.  Not sure those emotions will ever change to be honest but feel I owe it to him to keep going and am lucky to have friends and the forum to ramble too!!  Take care of yourself.  Jules xx

Hi Syl. My wife's gone in early March (5th). We've been married for 27 years so I know what you're going through. Not only she was my wife but also my best friend. As for the dreams, when I pray at night I talk to her and ask her to come during night time in my dreams. It doesn't work every time but at least once a week she comes. Best regards, Joe

Hi Jules, it is nice to feel better  hope it lasts now .i know xmas will be sad for so many people ,you think your the only one  then you think about all the others sad and lonly at this time of year,im sure there are many worse than  us  so we have to try  and make the best of things. it sounds as if your grandchildren keep you happy and  busy , i would love  some but it dosnt seem to be happening  i live in hope lol. it will be nice to catch up with your friends over the week end  it does you good to have a natter  and nice food  as well, hope to see my son on Sunday as he is back from his holiday it seems ages since i saw him,even though i have spoke to him every day on -mail. am out tuesday for xmas dinner at my local high school ,should be nice havnt got any plans  for the week end  .enjoy ur week end with your friends Syl x

Hi Joe , wish i could dream of my hubby it would make me happy  i dont seem to dream much at all  it is hard at this time of year  me and  my  kids are just having a quite dinner at my sons  we will have a few drinks and im sure we will have a  cry  and a laugh as we remember  the good times  regards Syl 

Hi jules, glad you had a nice week end with your friends  and  had a   nice chinese , i like chinese as well i havnt had one since hubby died as the one we liked from the chippy are far to big for one. had a meal out on sunday with the kids my son enjoyed his holiday ,he is back at work now . enjoyed my xmas meal at my local school we had  the school choir singing carols  and a raffle i won a lovely box of body lotions i dont use them neither does my daughter , so i will donate them to  one of the charity shops . i have just taken george out as its a lovely day here  just going to make my self a coffee and put my feet up ,will go to bingo later as i havnt been for a while with not feeling well  .regards Syl X

Hi Syl

Good to read that you have been enjoying good days and social events now that you are feeling better.  I bet George was thrilled to being going walkies too and think this gives the day a purpose. When the weather is bright it makes such a difference to how we feel about the day.  Althpough I go out whatever the weather I really do not like this spell of mild damp and dismal weather and am hoping for some more bright, cold seasonal weather.  However, the bonus of not needing the heating on and thus saving money is a good side effect I suppose.

My daughter came round on Wednesday evening to wrap the boys Christmas gifts so we had time for a chat which is always good.  We are all out this evening as we take the boys into London to see the Christmas lights and visit both the new Lego shop and Hamleys as well as having a meal out and then I am away to my friends again for the weekend as we are attending a yearly social event on Saturday evening.

Hope you enjoyed your bingo night.  I used to go regularly before, first my friend moved out of the area and then the hall itself closed as the lease ran out and it was not renewed as they had another use for the space.  My nearest bingo hall now would be two buses away and not really worth doing on my own but I and my friend both miss  our weekly outings just like her husband misses having his weekly get-together over a drink with my hubby.  Am thankful for those good memories though and my friend was an amazing support during our journey with cancer.  She had complete understanding as her son in law has been through two journies with bone cancer and now thankfully is coming  up to 10 years clear.

Well, must get on and have to check how my Mum is doing with the Care home staff. She has been suffering from a very stubborn tummy upset and been isolated in her room and I have been unable to visit in the fear of picking it up or worse still passing it on to the grandchildren especially baby Darcey. If things have improved I will pop down later.

Hope you have a peaceful and pleasant weekend. Take care.  Jules x

Hi jules, hope you have a nice week end with friends again it is nice to get out  the weather here at the moment is quite sunny but its cold , went to a garden centre  for  a festive afternoon tea with my daughter , it was half price when we got there it was the wrong  garden centre so we ended up having  to pay  £10  for one  tea between us  we laughed about it  after, it was nice though. I bet London is nice this time of year , my daughter went the xmas markets in Manchester a few week ago they enjoyed  food and a couple of glasses of mulled wine. I am going to my daughters later were not having  a roast dinner today  were saving it  for xmas dinner  next Sunday at my sons. hope Debbie ok not heard off her in a while  speak to you soon regards Syl x

Hi Syl,

Pleasant and relaxing weekend with my friends and a lovely meal at the social event on Saturday evening. On the Sunday we popped to the local golf club (her hubby plays) for their Christmas Raffle draw and drinks before I caught the train back home.  Glad you had a nice afternoon tea with your daughter even if you had to share one after arriving at the wrong garden centre to get a bargain.

We had a nice time up in London with my grandsons and I returned today to have a wander round on my own; lovely atmosphere around the pop up ice rink to enjoy a coffee and cake by.  Will be working tomorrow and Thursday and then enjoy my usual 5 day break with Christmas festivities and the family.

Hope you continue to feel better as am sure it helps with our coping mechanism.  Miss hubby greatly but bet he is keeping an eye on me to make sure I make the most of family time(just as he would have). Take care and wish you and your family a peaceful Christmas and 2017.  Hugs from Jules xx

Hi jules, glad you had a nice time with your friends ,  hope you have a nice christmas  with family  and friends  me and the kids just having a quite dinner just the three of us  my daughters partner might be joining us at the night time, i will be staying over at my sons xmas night, we usually go out boxing day but this year we coudnt face going out , so we are just going  to have  a  meal in  ,it his my hubbys birthday on the 27 dec if the weather is ok we might go for a walk to  a place called spike island, my hubby liked to walk there to see the river Mersey and the new bridge they are building over  the mersey,unfortunately he woundnt live to see it finished. regards have a lovely xmas with your family  Syl x