Hello wishy,

On behalf of all the Cancer Chat team, I would like to express our sincere condolences. We are so sorry to hear you recently lost your husband. It must all be so raw for you at the moment. I know you will meet others here who have also lost their partner recently and talking to them will bring you a little comfort I hope during this most difficult time.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi, I am so sorry to hear your story, it has echoes of so many sad stories and the shock and grief is as bad as it can be right now. There is no understanding and no magic wand, trust me I have looked! Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel all your emotions, this is an awful time, we all know, but also know that there are many who are out there more than willing to care for you at this time, most important is to be kind to yourself and not try to look for answers right now, the time will come for that. Sending so many hugs.

Wishy, I am so very sorry for your loss.  I lost my precious husband six months ago to prostate cancer so I understand what you are feeling it's so hard.  Sending love to you take care.  Debbie  xxxxxxx

Thank you so much for the kind supportive words yes it's very raw just now not only that but I'm English my husband was Spanish so we had the funeral the day after he died every thing seems to have happened so quickly it's so hard ! My Spanish family here have been brilliant I also have many English friends too who at the moment are not contacting me I'm surrounded all day by family yet I feel so alone 

Oh Wishy that must have beenso hard having the funeral so soon, I felt as though we had to rush Sam's funeral as his brother came over from Canada and he only came for a week i was so angry so I can only imagine how you must have felt.  I am sad to hear your English friends are not being very supportive but glad you have his family.  Sending you love xxxxxx Debbie 

Hi Chris,

Well I don't cry quite as much, but it's getting harder in some ways, I just miss him more and more.  Usually we would be looking forward to, or already have been on holiday and I can't imagine ever doing that without him.  I am doing ok day to day I suppose just feel so lost.  Had a week off work last week and looked after my Neice who is 4 - she was a great distraction but absolutely exhausting, I have never had children and really don't know how mums do it - it's easier being at work, but she is a lot of fun.  How are you?

Love Debbie xxxx 

Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss. 49 is no age at all. I think your friends in a british way try and give you space. If they've never experienced such a loss they can only ever guess the pain. I join the 6 month club from losing my lovely dad to lung cancer, 3 days after diagnosis. It's certainly a hard journey. My daughter has started having nightmares in the last week, she can't understand why grandad went and left her behind. They had a really close relationship as my parents live next door. She was only 4 in January and having to live through her night terrors is so hard. In her terms it's simple, why did grandad go? and she wanted him to stay here with her. She knows his body didn't work anymore and believes he's a star watching over her but it's truly heartbreaking... x

Yeah it's heart breaking even harder on children so sorry to hear if died so soon after diagnosed I thought my husband was quick after only six weeks but I have been told by the doctor that my husband could have had this cancer for a long time he only went to the doctors when he started with pain by then it was too late he only got really bad after the first lot of chemo I think it loosened the tumors cos the day after he was in hospital after been sick lots of blood they called it hemitosis of the lung he died peacefully on a high dosis of morphine 1 week later 

Yeah that's us and yes we were very happy the reason why my husband had pain was that the cancer had spread to the rib cage yes I too had a horrible experience watching him lose lots of blood I'll have that in my head forever it's good to know you know how I feel having gone through the same thing it's awful just awful