Hi Cm,

Sorry to hear about your mum. 3weeks is not a long time to get your head around this. Now, she not doing so well.  Best to take a day at a time and try and be there with your mum as much as you can. Just being there for mum will mean the world to her.

I lost my my mum , who I was very close too,who I looked after for two years with cancer. Last August just been away and she was not to bad and looked well. But went down hill over a few weeks, so still a shock to me.

My mum kept being sick was hard just getting in hospital as they was not helpful, as she was not eating or drink. I wish she could have been at home.

Now it's been 6 months but like 6 minutes, life with out her is hard. But while your mums here, just focus on the time with her now.

Hi there, I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. This is a terrible thing to happen. I found it a massive struggle when you get no notice as your brain struggles to digest the information. Spend as much time as you can with your mum. I'm nearly 6 months in from losing my dad in similar circumstances to lung cancer and the journey is a struggle. You're not alone in this journey and we'll all be here for you when you need us. Xxx

Thank you for replying. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your mum. I'veb witeen my mum since Friday, I'm terrified to sleep or leave her in case she goes as I want to be here to hold her hand. We had planned for her to come home tomorrow, couldn't do it sooner as the logistics needed a few days to be arranged but she said herself yesterday that she wasn't able to go home and felt too weak so obviously it's her choice. I'm struggling to accept that we have come to this. Yes she was a smoker so cancer was always possibly but for life to be whipped away this quickly is just beyond devastating. I can't bear the thought of what's gone on in her mind since she found out, it must be so lonely and isolating and I feel terrible for her. As she can't get out, we have made her private room as personal as possible with canvases, flowers n photos of friends and family. I just feel like she hasn't had anything the way she wanted since we found out. She had some hope that the radiotherapy would work but if anything it just made her symptoms worse, she thought she would get home but she's not able and she had planned to move in with me in my new house which she will now never see. Life is just really *** at times to the best people and this grief is overwhelming. I do find coming on here helpful though so again thanks for shoring your experience and I hope you are doing ok. Xx

Thanks Michelle. How are you doing 6 months on? It's such a cruel disease. It's been a completely life changing experience and things will never be normal again. For one second I think things are normal then I'm hit with a sledgehammer and realise the reality is unbearable. I'm staying with her in the hospital and feeling guilty about not spending time with before this, we have a great relationship and have always been close but I wish we had done more, I wish I had got married, I wish we had taken more holidays. I thought I had forever to make plans with her, take her away for her birthday and sit out in the back garden of our new house, drinking wine and listening to our favourite Motown music but it's not to be and no one can fill the hole that she is going to leave. Xx

Hi I lost my Mam 2 weeks ago to lung cancer, she got diagnosed nearly 2 year ago. Again it was still a shock as she had been doing great, started being sick but didn't feel poorly with it, took her to hospital on the Fri and got told on the Monday she might not last the night. My Mam didn't give up that easily, she's a fighter and lasted 11 more days. I spent every second from the moment we were told with her, telling her how much I loved her and I would make her proud. She died peacefully in her sleep with me by her side. I can't imagine your shock at being told 3 weeks ago, but spend as much time with your Mam as you can and tell her as much as you can that you love her. Nobody was to know that this would happen bit you will get peace from doing your best in the forthcoming days weeks. Go with your instincts if you think she's uncomfortable or in pain, you know your Mam better than anyone ask for more pain relief etc. I'm just trying to take 1 day at a time, I miss her terribly but I tried my best and that helps. Try and enjoy your time together, that sounds wrong but just holder her comfort her and tell her you love her. Xxxxx

Life is certainly cruel. I feel like I'm just in a bubble of disbelief, did this really happen? My dad fell poorly and had a stay in hospital, he was diagnosed and passed 3 days later. All of this happened over 3 weeks. To say it's hard is an understatement. The not getting married is hard, but you have so many of those things they won't get to see or be involved with. I beat myself up all the time. My dad smoked too and the lung cancer was caused by this. He did stop 1.5 years before not that it helps. My 4 year old broke down in tears today as she watched a video of photos I'd put together. She really struggles to understand how her bestie could leave her. We have to continue to live our lives and try and be happy and make the most of it. It's hard and every day is a struggle. I hope your mums passing is peaceful with you by her side xxx

Life can be **** to good people. I struggled when I found out when mum had cancer. Just wishing we could go back to a time before cancer.

My mum said she wasn't afraid of dying, but I think worried for other people. How we would get on without her.

Time does heal but today been thinkng about her more, as i've been cutting the grass.

Hope your mum gets home

I have to say I spend my life worrying about dying! Why? There's no point, I'm gonna waste my years fretting.

I sat and promised my 4 year old I wasn't going anywhere tonight after she asked me if I was going to leave her!!! (She's been having nightmares as my dad left) and I'm sat thinking we know tomorrow isn't promised! I never knew how hard losing a parent would be.  Sending a hug x