Hi Natali

Do you know how bad his cancer is? how long they think he has? Is he still getting treatment or have all the options run out?

It's really difficult these situations - we were so lucky that my wife had very few symptoms from her cancer until he last few weeks but then when my duaghter came to see her in the hospital, not really concious with breathing and feeding tubes she couldn't stay and left after about 30 seconds saying that she wanted to remember her how she was. Because Mel died about 2 days later my daughter never had to go through watching her decline and fade away as it sounds like you are doing. So I think you're doing OK - at least you're spending some time with him.

This may be hard but you need to stop thinking about what will happen after - he will be worried to death about what happens when he's gone and you need to show him that you're strong and will be just fine after he's gone.

You also have a short amount of time now to spend with him - if you can find some ways to have a bit of fun and help take his mind and yours off of it for a short while that will be wonderful and they will be times you'll never forget.

I don't know what he can do right now but anything from playing a game of cards to watching some TV together - is he up to going outside in a wheelchair perhaps wrapped up warm? there's some lovely weather right now.

What ever you do to spend time with him it'll just be great and he'll love you for it.

Try not to project your thinking to after he's gone - you'll have time enough for grief there's no point in starting it early - focus on making the most of the time that is left and making sure that his passing is as comfortable and painfree as possible..

If you want to talk to other younger people that are going through what you are there's a site we often recommend http://www.riprap.org.uk/ but you're more than we;lcome to stay and talk here too.

Good luck, be strong

I am 17 as well and my dad has Pancreatic cancer. I don't know what I would do without him either.