Hi Jacm38.

I lost my mum end of September, feels like yesterday. My dad died with cancer as well, I have a brother who doesn't get on. I know how you say you was a team. As my mums my best friend.

4 months is not long to get your head around, so not wonder all over the place. Hard to watch someone at the end.

It's very hard to lose a loved one and does take time.

I lost my Mum in January to stage 4 lung cancer, like you my Mum was my best friend. I couldn't believe my ears when my Mum was diagnosed in early October. All I can say is speak to your friends about how your feeling, and spend what time you can with your Mum. It's good to speak to people. If you ever want a chat please feel free to message me. So sorry xxx

Thanks for replying - I'm finding it all really hard, one minute I'm just numb and none of it feels real - when I go to her house to check on things it feels as though she has gone and I just cry when I'm there looking at all her stuff and clothes yet when I come back to the hospice she's still here but she's not really like her anymore. I get moments when she's really affectionate and then in a flash she gets nasty which I'm finding really hard to cope with - going between 2 worlds at the moment.