Im really sorry for your loss.

My Mum had emphysemia and was in a nursing home she had a fall and died 3 weeks later It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, watch my Mum slowly pass away.  I was a mess a grown man who couldn't stop crying for days and then there was the fighting over my Mum's few possesion's and who would pay for the funeral.  I still dont speak to my sisters because of it and other reasons

But it does get better.

My brother and I are closer than ever before (he has still not cried for her and it has been 10 years)

I only have good memories of her now, whenever I think of her I can see her so happy so young and pretty and having the time of her life with Dad (he passed away 23 years and 1 month before my Mum) 

I say G'day every day to my Mum she still lives with me and my son I have her on my mantle piece (my son put a small bottle of whiskey next to her urn I swear it leans towards the bottle) I celebrate her birthday as normal and I take her to the cemetry every time I go to see Dad. She spends Christmas with us she has a chair and everything, her grandkids decorate her with tinsle and put those stupid Christmas crackerjack hats on her.  One of them drew a smiley face on her. I havent wiped it off as it suits her.

So it does get better slowly its not something that happens over night but it will.

And when the tears stop Celebrate your Mum's life.  I do

I wish you the best 

Dont judge your Dad and Brother too harshly everybody mourns in different ways.  Women cry men get angry. its how we cope. but eventually they will cry as well and that is when they will need you.

All the best

Dave

Hi tilly so sorry for your loss sending my condolences  xx 

I know what you mean about night times are worse or when your home alone..

my partner passed away 9 weeks ago from stomach cancer he was 36 .....

so I know how you feel and everyone on here are in same position  so you have come to the right place for support they have been great to me all understanding  and give good advice or even just someone to talk to ...

Its still so raw for us both  they say time is a healer but like you I don't see it either ... its so hard and I cry all day every day since he passed i dont sleep much at all up all hours of the night. ...

Don't know if your interested  but I do mediation  at night got few of you tube that was sent to me it helps bring me to a relax level but I don't do it till stupid o'clock  as you have to be ready to listen and relax .. its the only part of the day I can say I actually  calm down. ...

Have you got any bereavement  serves around your area ? I'm with cruse  they come to my house once a week and we talk I don't know if it's helping as only had 3 sessions but it's worth a try ... I'd do anything  to help myself cause most days I cope. .

But keep coming on here keep talking people on here are great all ages and  all in same boat and message me if you want anytime ..

Sending you hugs and blessings xx be strong xx