Linz,

I'm so sorry to hear your sister's tragic story. It is unlikely that anyone on here will be able to answer your question and if they tried they would only be guessing at best.

All I can suggest is that you or her partner asks the hospital for an explanation of why she was sent home on the 2nd only to have such a tragic outcome two days later. It might be worth asking why there was so long a delay between diagnosis and the start of chemo. My case was very similar to your sister's and I started palliative chemo just a over week after my diagnosis.

Best wishes
Dave

Hi thank you for your reply - it was only the morning after her release from hospital that my sister died - about 17 hours after she got home. The chemo was delayed because of extra tests and investigation which had to be done and then she had to have a heart scan which delayed it further. I just wish she had never had chemo in the first place but then who knows it may have happened this way anyway as when she was diagnosed in october they told her without chemo she would only live 2 months. I just feel so cheated as we should have had more time together and she was so positive and ready to fight but she didnt even get the chance. It would be so easy to  blame the hospital and believe me i have but she did  deteriorate very quickly and i think she would rather have been at home than in hospital - at least this way she didnt suffer and slipped away without having to suffer any pain - that is the only way i can think at the moment or i would just scream and scream i just cant believe she has gone. Like i said up until new years eve nobody would have guessed she was ill - she looked so healthy and hadnt even lost any weight - thats what makes it so hard i think as there were just no outward signs at all 

Best wishes

Lindsey

sending my best wishes to you during your chemo and hoping you can stay positive and fight fight fight x x 

Lindsey,

Thanks for your reply, I think the randomness of cancer is one of the hardest things to cope with for all of us, you can never be sure what's round the corner. 

At least there was a logical reason for the delay in her chemo starting and, as you say, she was at home. I hope you find a way to come to terms with your sudden loss.

Best wishes

Dave

Hi there, this is truly heartbreaking. Was there no post mortem to offer any explanation? x

Linz

I am so so sorry to hear your news... I'm not sure what words of wisdom, help or comfort I can offer but I felt I just had to say that my thoughts are with you at this time

I'm 16 months post treatment for throat cancer and regard myself as one of the lucky ones. It always gets to me when I hear that cancer has taken a loved one, especially one so young and vibrant as your sister .... 

I hope that you find the answers you seek and that this lets you remember you sister in the way she would have wanted

One for the moderator I think

Vatch

Hi thank you both for your kind words - my lovely sister was indeed vibrant and full of life and was only 46 years of age. The doctor was happy to sign the death certificate with cancer as the cause and including the details of the chemo she was being treated with. We could have insisted on a post mortem but after talking in great length with her partner we decided it was not a route we wanted to go down. The fact is she had cancer and it was a very nasty one - also very rare in one her age - and she knew she had a real battle on her hands and would never be cured but we were so positive and filled with hope that she would. I feel that the chemo was too much for her and her body just gave up. When she was in the hospital they stopped her chemo tablets as they thought she had had a bad reaction to it and that may have been causing the sickness but we will never really know. It was the suddeness that i just cant get my head round, at around 12 noon the day before i was texting her on my break from work and we were joking and making fun of each other as normal and she was so pleased to be going home. This is like a nightmare and i cant imagine never seeing her again. We were so close and i shall miss her so much. She lived at the other end of the country from me which also made this so difficult but i took time off work in the middle of december before she started her chemo as i needed to spend some time with her - i am so glad i did as the memories of that happy week together will certainly help me in the months ahead x 

Hi again sorry  but i have just thought of something my sister was told when she was diagnosed. The doctors told her that her cancer was not terminal but life shortening can anybody explain the difference to me please x 

Thank you for your reply i have just come off the phone to the cancer nurse and i can honestly say she was lovely and very helpful. She told me it was unusual for death to occur this suddenly but could have been caused by a blood clot or other sudden symptom (i am afraid i cant remember everything she said as i cried all the way through the conversation)  and that the chemo was only given to her in the hopes it would improve her symptoms and prolong her life. She would never have been cured i think we just all were so full of hope and so positive that she would beat it that we didnt want to listen to the fact that she would not survive longer than 18 months. At least this way, though it was the most awful way for us, my beautiful sister didnt suffer and had no pain and we can remember her looking healthy and smiling right up to the end. If we need more answers the nurse has told us to contact her team at the hospital who may be able to offer further explanation though at the end of the day she is still gone and nothing will bring her back x