Hi Evie, I am so sorry to read your post about losing your husband so recently. I also wanted to welcome your to the forum where people are very caring and supportive, There are members who walk this same journey as you and certainly the road is less difficult when you can walk with someone else, even if its' in a virtual way such as on this forum. Your grief is so raw right now and it must be so hard for you, and made even worse with all of the talk everywhere about the holidays. I know your family has been with you as you have gone through the motions of the funeral etc., but like you say, right now, all you want is your husband back by your side. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, but of course, right now there really isn't anything anyone can say. As time goes on, this pain will get less difficult for you, but I know right now you can't even get there. My heart goes out to you.

Come back on the forum and tell us about your husband and your life together with him. Writing it down will help you too. Take care of yourself.

Sending you hugs.

Lorraine   

Hi Evie3312

Sorry for the loss of your husband.

Please come to chat anytime you feel it would be helpful.

There are others here who will understand how you are feeling now and who, like LorraineD, are caring and supportive.

Best wishes to you,

Jane

Hi Lorraine , thank you for taking the time to answer.   You say come back on the forum but not sure what one I post on. It would be nice to talk to people going through the same as me. 

Many thanks

Eve

Thank you Jane too 

Hi Evie3312

I have moved your thread to our Coping with Loss section, where you will find posts from others going through similar experiences to you.

Feel free as well to reply to other members' discussion threads if you read any messages that you would like to respond to.

I hope this helps,

Best wishes

Jane 

Hi Evie

Thought I would respond as lost my husband to cancer a year ago on Sunday.  The forum and the people here have been a valued part of my life for some while.  Unlike the shock and raw grief you are feeling at the sudden loss of your husband, we had nearly three years with a terminal diagnosis.  Nonetheless the rawness of grief in the early days was like nothing I had dealt with before and I did find it helped to talk on the forum and taking llittle steps along the way has got me through the first year whilst of course accepting and giving mutual support to our famiyl. Looking back I really do not have all the answers to make the inner pain go away but many told me that time would make it a little easier and that has proved to be the case.  During this time I have learnt a lot about myself too and the biggest acceptance was that I could take wonderful memories with me no matter where I go.

Hope you will find the forum a comforting place to visit as and when you wish to. Jules54

Evie, so sorry for the loss of your husband, I know how you feel as I lost my husband 9 weeks ago and it is unbearable, I am sorry I cannot offer any advice as I just get through each day somehow and then have wake up and do it all again i hope it gets better, just wanted to let you know I understand your pain xxxxxxxxx

Hi MoB

I am not sure there is a right or wrong way to cope with our loss as every person reacts in their own way. I still take things one day at a time but the deep pain of initial loss has lessened as I keep myself busy and when sad memories come (and of course that is inevitable and to be expected) I use a coping mechanism now to recall the good times. I also support my adult children and little grandchildren who also grieve the loss in their own ways. Having been a part of the forum whilst my hubby was ill I now have an added circle of forum friends and I share my thoughts with them, as they do with me.

On Sunday I will reach another milestone and will have completed a year of widowhood.  Who really knows what the future holds but I am slowly making plans as I know my husband would want me to move forward with my own ideas.It is not an easy road to travel but it is 'do-able', asking for support along the way and learning to adjust.  I did not want it to be this way as had hoped for a jont retirement but will do my best to honour my husband and best friend's memory for as long as I am able.  My first Christmas and New Year have been acknowledged  with varying emotions and I have learnt it is possible to be alone but not lonely but sometimes it means taking the first tentative steps through the grieving process.

The only advice I would pass on is what was said to me on more than one occasion. do not expect too much too quickly and take time to be kind to yourself as well as asking for any help/support you may need.  Jules

Thanks Jules appreciate your advice MoB