Your reply really does mirror how time can be a healer. I did not think I would feel 'ok' to laugh and feel 'happy' when hubby died and in those early months of grieving there was a hesitancy about 'trying to do what he would want me to do' in case it was the wrong approach. I now try and do what feels right for me, the children/grandchildren. When the emotions come I know it is a natural response and not something to be scared of. The 'firsts' of doing everything can be a challenge but I am getting there.
Last night was my work's Christmas meal and I went and I enjoyed it. I have come a long way and will keep striving. Life has changed and so have I (his illness taught me a lot about myself that I had never thought about before) and I owe it to his memory to keep on learning and improving (though I was always the one who mowed the lawn and did the painting - I will miss his wallpapering skills but know a way round it!!!).
The quote 'laughter is the best medicine' seems to be proving its point. Have a good day. Jules
Hi Kathy, I too thought I would keep a journal of Michael's illness and like you I stopped after a week for the same reason. I was just doing the bins just now (this was one of his jobs) and crying at the same time. I actually find I cry more now than at the time of his death, remembering more things I suppose, this morning it was the smile he used to give me when I popped back after s bit of shopping while he was having his chemo. It is so good to read everyones posts on here it really has helped and as for his shed, greenhouse etc good job it's winter so no jobs to be done until the spring! Thankyou everyone your posts are invaluable to me x
