Hi

This is our first Christmas without my mum.  We are going to try and carry on even though it won't be the same.  I have three young children, which really helps take your mind off things. We have been doing alot with my dad and he has been trying to keep himself busy.

Normally every year we go to mum and dads on Christmas day lunch time then stay over night.  I really didn't want dad waking up on Christmas day on his own, especially as this is the first Christmas without mum. So we are all going over on Christmas Eve and staying over so that we can all wake up together on Christmas morning.  With the excited children, hopefully this will help Dad and me to get through the day.

xxxx

Jules

That is a great idea about the memory box.

My mum knitted lots of jumpers and cardy's for my children over the last few years.  I kept them and especially now mum isn't here I don't want to get rid of them.  Someone suggested to me about making a blanket made out of the cardy's. I think this is a great idea and in the future it is something I will do.

xxx

Hi MissingMum

The memory box idea came about after my husband passed away and grandson, then 6, was, along with my daughter, struggling with the grieving process (as you know this time of year heightens those feelings too) .  His school held a 'mat session' in class and they covered loss of pets, friends and family and the memory box suggestion came up. It's something they can dip in and out of whenever they want to and my grandson decided what he would like to put in it.  We talk about things openly when he asks questions (however weird some of them are!!) and shared emotions help to take us forward.

I am sure your Dad and yourself will benefit from each others company during the festive season and the kid's smiles will carry us all through difficult times. Sending hugs.  Jules   

Going to your fathers sounds like a great idea.

I know it's hard you losing your mum but you've got your familly there - I'm guessing that you've all gone now and he's on his own? So he'll be feeling it just as hard if not more.

Why not get him to come on the forum and say Hi?

I'm sure together you'll all have some fun and smiles and get through the day despite it all.

I think pretty much every culture seems to have a mid winter celebration of some sort - the days are getting longer and we see Spring coming I'm sure that will help all of us.

(Barring any Australians that have snuck in unannounced of course!! :c)  )

3 months ago yesterday my dad died.

Not sure how Christmas will go. It's going to be just my mum, myself and my husband for Christmas day with my brother and his partner arriving on Boxing day for a couple of night.

Struggle sometimes with the obvious - 'Best dad ever' Christmas gifts seem to be everywhere in the shops. But it's still the unexpected moments that catch me out, make me tearful and sad.

Just grateful that I have had support from good friends and lovely family members. I hold onto the fact that my dad loved Chruistmas.  We will do our best to 'hold Christmas well' for him.

I hope everyone finds a little peace and comfort over the festive period.

That sounds great Trina

Yes it is the unexpected moments isn't it? When you forget they're gone and suddenly see or hear something that you think you're going to tell them and then remember.

When I was young we grew up in London and Christmas decorations were bought from Woolworths - Melanie came from a farm in the mountains in Ireland and she would decorate the house with pine branches ivy gathered from the woods.

That'll be my job this weekend to go and bring in ivy and tie it over the fireplace and the pictures - I think I'll always do that now and I'll always think of her when I do

Christmas will be hard as it's our first without my dad, he only passed 8.5 weeks ago. I've put a tree up but I'm struggling to get into the swing of it all. My mum can't bare to think about it, she's absolutely dreading it, she has no tree up and won't write cards as it would be just her name in it. Every day is lonely without my dad in it, Christmas will just be another sad day.  The things that hit me hard are when I got the Christmas tags out and there was a leftover one from last year to mum and dad. Then there was a Christmas card to mum and dad that I'd got in the sale. My dad dying made me realise we are all actually dying just some of us later than others. You shouldn't need a diagnosis to make you do things you want to, just do it! 

Take care everyone x

Hi Michelle1978

My mum died 12 weeks ago and dad passed away 9 years.

As it Christmas eve and would be helping mum for Christmas , upsetting. I know how you feel.