Hi Graham,

I think this is a great idea. I lost my mother several years ago and she was in hospital all overChristmas. In fact when I saw her on Christmas Eve she said she didnt think she would last the night. I told her she was just having a bad day but when I got home I dreaded hearing the phone. She not only got through the night but lasted until Jan 16th by sheer will power. I remain convinced she did it because she didnt want to spoil our Christmas. 

I have to say Christmas has never been quite the same since as my wife has lost her parents too. We try our best to enjoy ourselves but there is always someone missing so we both try and re-live memories of past Christmases. I find this does help.

So I will be thinking of all those who have people missing from their lives. As Christmas is a time when families get together, it always seems to hurt worse, Brian.

Brian

Hi. I lost my wife nearly 4 week ago. I'm dreading Christmas. We were meant to be going to a log cabin on the east coast for it with the kids grandkids and sons and daughter in law. The day she died I got a phone call from hoseasons saying our cabin had burned down and they could either reimburse us or look for something else. Me and the kids decided we didn't want to go as by then it was obvious she wasn't going to be here mych longer. So we have now decided it's everyone to mine on Christmas Day I'm gonna prepare dinner and the girls are gonna cook while the lads take me out for a hour. Sounds a bit sexist the women cooking but it's their idea and not taking no for an answer. This should keep me occupied for Christmas Eve and day. Then considering going away for the week to somewhere hot with the youngest she is 17 but nothing definate with that one yet just a thought. I suppose we are all going to go through every emotion possible on the run up to it but think we owe it to our loved ones to at least try to enjoy it for their memory if nothing else 

Last week the bomb-shell was dropped on us that my precious dad could have as little as 3 weeks left with us. I'm finding even the thought of Christmas is making me anxious, as I'm dreading the very real thought that he may not be here. I have 2 small children and am doing everything I can to make it the special Christmas they deserve but oh so hard. Haven't even had the courage to buy my dad gifts, as I don't want the pain of having to deal with them if he never gets to open them. Am so sorry for everyone facing a Christmas without their loved one.x x 

Hello Graham,

What good idea. I definitely will carrying on celebrating Christmas, even if it is the first with out my beautiful Mum. 

I lost my lovely Mum just over 4 months ago now. It's been so tough, she meant the world to me. I am 24 and Mum was 52. She was such a huge part of my life, the thought of Christmas without her is awful. I know mum would want us to be enjoying ourselves though. As much as I miss her, I will be thinking of her with every decoration I put up. I'll be thinking  all the magical Christmas' she made for us. In a way I will be celebrating her life. 

It's important to remember our loved ones. This year I have realised how quickly someone so dear to me can be snatched away so quickly.  So this Christmas I will be celebrating my mum's life and enjoying every moment with my  family.  

To all your loved ones,  in person or spirit!! 

Do try and have a wonderful Christmas  

Janna 

Hi Graham

This will be my first Christmas since losing my lovely hubby. I am still not sure how I feel about all the 'festive celebrations' but will be working until Christmas Eve, spending Christmas Day with my daughter's Mother in law (we get on ok!!!) and then have both kids and grandkids coming to me on Boxing Day.  My husband loved this time of year and I will raise a quiet glass in his honour and let old memories mingle with the new ones yet to be made- and yes, I will decorate the tree and put any cards up and hope the family can put up with my cooking!!  Jules

hi jules 

im really struggling with the thought of christmas its been nearly 8 months now since i lost my partner and it still seems like yesterday got the tree out of the loft but havernt managed to put it up yet .  spending christmas day with my step daughter's and grandkids and my sons boxing day. Sill haven't got round to taken all her cloths  to the charity shop i hope this horrably feeling gets easyer soon .! trevor.

Hi Trevor

I  knew this was not going to be an easy time of year (another one of those first's to get through) but somehow we do it for our families and in memory of those we have lost.  Our children will also be struggling so being together is the best way to make new memories to take forward whilst taking old memories along for the ride. 

Everyone who grieves does so in their own time and whilst I recycled most of hubby's things reasonably early on (charity shops were very grateful and especially so at this time of year) I still have a few bits that I will move on when I am ready.  When my grandson and daughter were in the early days  she found an online site that made memory bears from a loved ones clothes so having kept a few items we used them in a good way as something for them to cherish/keep alongside the memory box for the grandchildren.

Sending you a peaceful virtual hug. Take care.  Jules

Hi . Jules 

Thanks for your kind reply the memory bears sounds a very good idea.will try and find that site. 

Thank again trevor.

Hi again Trev

Had a word with my daughter re memory bears.  Apparently her contact was local, through Facebook, so she does not have any website info I could pass on.  She is pretty sure they are websites out there though if you are thinking along those lines. Sending hugs.  Jules