Hi Deban

I lost my hubby at the start of this year  and though I had nearly three years to come to term with his terminal diagnosis I still felt much as you do just know. I was however by his side (he chose to die at home) but I cannot say this made it any easier.  The loss of the loved one hits hard. takes time to grieve and move forward again. I coped (and still do) day to day and had the love and support of family, a very few close friends and this wonderful forum.  Come and post as often as you need as you are never alone on this forum and we are a very understanding bunch. 

It has often been said that people who are dying almost choose their own time to slip away quietly with little fuss. My own Dad passed away some 8 years ago and neither my Mum (she lived just 10mins away from the hospice) nor me or the grandchildren were with him.  I felt guilty but the very understanding nurse who was looking after him (and us) explained that she had often known this to be the case and in time you will accept his peace as  your own and be able to find a way to accept the sadness it brings to those left behind.

Sending virtual hugs and here to chat if you wish. Jules54

Julies I was with my husband when he died but he was unconscious I wish I had stayed as when  I left him the previous evening he seemed ok and on the mend and we could  have talked some more , still can't understand his sudden deterioration.  Thank you  for telling me your story, everyone says it will get easier and I am sure it will but right now I can't see it.  Sending you  best wishes 

Sharing stories helped me at my time of loss as I soon realised I did not have to journey forward completely alone and the feelings I had were natural following the loss of a husband of many years.

When my Dad passed away the hospice nurses told us that hearing was very often the last sense to be lost and even when my best friend was unconscious for three days prior to her passing we held her hand and talked around her bed. Try not to feel guilty but allow yourself time to grieve the love you  have lost. You mentioned sudden deterioration and all I can say is my husband had been chatting with us during the day from his bed in the lounge and our children/grandkids returned home expecting to do the same the following day but it was not to be as he slipped away late that same evening. Ten months on it is less painful to recall and I take comfort that his cancer suffering is no more.  Miss him still of course but he is in my heart and the memories we made together go forward with me as yours will with you in due time.

Take care of yourself, best wishes  Jules

Sharing stories helped me at my time of loss as I soon realised I did not have to journey forward completely alone and the feelings I had were natural following the loss of a husband of many years.

When my Dad passed away the hospice nurses told us that hearing was very often the last sense to be lost and even when my best friend was unconscious for three days prior to her passing we held her hand and talked around her bed. Try not to feel guilty but allow yourself time to grieve the love you  have lost. You mentioned sudden deterioration and all I can say is my husband had been chatting with us during the day from his bed in the lounge and our children/grandkids returned home expecting to do the same the following day but it was not to be as he slipped away late that same evening. Ten months on it is less painful to recall and I take comfort that his cancer suffering is no more.  Miss him still of course but he is in my heart and the memories we made together go forward with me as yours will with you in due time.

Take care of yourself, best wishes  Jules