Lost our beloved Dad on 1st July, diagnosed on 11th June. People say it get easier but four months on i feel the pain of our lost is getting harder! Anyone feel the same?
I lost my mother several years ago and I can tell you for me it got harder for a few months untill it had really sunk in fully. But I promise you, we do learn to live with our loss even though it's never easy. I have just lost my father this Wednesday and as he lived in Canada, it is far from easy so I do understand.
I will just say, although your father is no longer with you, a part of him lives on inside of you through his genes.
Hi I'm sorry for your loss I lost my mum in May and yes as I sit here today I'm in a worse place than I was months ago, I'm ok with the fact she's gone we all have to go and she's out off the terrible suffering she went through, I guess this is all part off the grieving process we have to go through and it takes everyone on a different journey, I feel the longer it is the less people understand it's like okay all over now had funeral lets get back to normal, I for one know because off nursing my mother I will never b the same person again. No you are not alone I'm sure there are many like us but we can only do one day at a time and hopefully the good days although never the same will come
Dear Shellshocked, I am so sorry for your loss. You are so right about the longer it gets the less people understand. I try to explain to people that with each passing day I am stepping further way from my life as I knew it! If I hear the phase tough love one more time this week, I think I may scream! Why do people feel that everything should go back to normal after losing a much loved parent. I need time to grieve my Dad, such heartbreak does fix itself in a few weeks! I think it's worse at the moment due to Christmas fast approaching and knowing Dad is not going to be there with my children is just unthinkable. Thank you for allowing me blow off steam and for letting me know I am not the only one in such pain.
I am sorry for you lost Brian, thank you for your kind words. I know Dad is with me but just miss our cuddles and chats. Dad always as the n to calm me down when I was stressed, just miss him so much. Xx
Quite a big funeral, and we did a fund raising thing in her memory for Cancer Research. So there was lots to do, lots to keep me occupied.
Now of course that is over and I'm back to "real life" and that's really hard.
I think a lot of people have very different experiences but for me what helped a great deal was going around to all of her friends and telling them about it talking about her last few days sort of densitised me a bit and that's helped in those every day situations where people want to talk about her and I can do that now.
There are certain parts that are still very hard to remember like the last 20 minutes or so and sitting here typing this I can feel myself welling up now.
Trouble is it's a bit like a sore tooth - you know that it hurts but you can't seem to stop yourself prodding it with your tongue - and likewise your mind returns to those painful memories.
I guess, I hope, it's another densitisation process - the more you prod those difficult areas the easier it becomes.
I'd say talk about it - to anybody who will listen - and keep talking about it. Yes it hurts to do that but nobody said it would be easy.
If you don't have someone around try the CRUSE website - they specialise in bereavement councilling and you can even exchange emails with councillors if talking is hard.
I'm exactly the same, I lost my mum on the same day, 1st July. Everyone seems to have their lives back to normal whereas mine has a massive hole. It's completely heartbreaking! I'm here if you want to talk. I have no wise words but like you I'm sure just take each day as it comes. I'm dreading Christmas too, it just won't be the same. I'm so sorry for your loss, nothing anyone can say will make it better.
I feel the same each day that passes it brings more sadness and the sense of loss. My husband died in July after a really brave fight with multiple myeloma. He suffered and seeing him like that was heartbreaking seeing my daughter trying to cope. And seeing him with the grandchildren and he knew he wouldn't see them grow up . People say he is at peace now and I know that but selfish it might be I miss him dreadfully. The house is so empty and Christmas without him doesn't bear thinking about
I lost my mum on the 30th May and I still don't think it's 100% sunk in yet.
I am back at work, and life is carrying on around me. I carry on doing everyday things and living life, but I feel like the hole in my heart is getting bigger.
It has been just over five months now, and right now I'm feeling worse than a few months ago. Maybe it is because Christmas is coming.
I've always loved Christmas so much. Spending it with my mum and dad. My mum would always make so much effort to make things amazing. But this year I can't stand to think that she's not going to be there.
My dad died about 3 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer, I think the shock takes awhile to subside and it does get easier but takes awhile. I got comfort from him not suffering for a long time as I know he would have struggled to cope with treatment. This is a bad time of year as Christmas is a particularly difficult time. I hope you start to feel better and as others have said the good days will outweigh the bad ones in time.
