6 months ago, I lost the only man to ever stick around in my life. My wonderful gramps. Grandad had fought cancer for 5 years, being told he had 6-12 months but carrying on for another two years. He was so up and down but always pulled through and came back fighting, so I never imagined the day would come where I would have to say goodbye. I moved in with my nan for three months, staying every other night for the last three months as my mum is struggling with the loss of her dad, so I haven't found the time to grieve. I find myself keeping busy in anyway possible so that I don't think of the day I lost my grandad. I booked a skydive on his birthday, went on holiday, joined a gym just so the last days with grandad do not replay in my head second by second. My manager wants me to take time to grieve but I don't know how too, I don't think I want to accept what has happened. I don't know how to feel? I just know I need to put my nan and mum firs. I feel that my friends were incredible in the first couple of months, but now I feel I have no one to talk too, like I should be over it now when really the pain seems to be getting stronger now more than ever. Do I tell my friends? Open up more to my boyfriend and not keep pretending I'm okay ? Wish I had a guide on how to cope as keeping busy is now making me exhausted, and very poor! Not sure how to speak to the family I don't want to upset them by talking about it. Wondering if anyone has a suggestion how I can deal with the loss of my grandad.
