Hello Julie,

I just wanted to welcome you to Cancer Chat and bump your post to the top of the forum so that others who have also lost a loved one to cancer can see it and talk to you. You will see that there are many on this forum who can truly understand how you are feeling.

Choking on a panini must have been a very scary experience for you. I hope you are slowly getting over this frightening experience!

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

I am so sorry for your pain. My mum died yesterday so I have no words to make you feel better I just wanted to say I'm so sorry 

dear emmyr  thanks for your reply, i have to go back to when they tell you the all clear which i stupidly thought when they got mum breast cancer early before it spread, she be alright its like a big cover up, not telling you it will come back in time, my mums ovarian cancer must have come back just two years after her breast cancer, it seems even the early stage, the cancer comes backs you can not win with this disease no matter what, lets hope they find a cure soon, take care oggi

Hi lucie, I had racing heart when I eat now, when I'm in work I try to ignore it but sometimes I feel that panic feeling coming on, I've spoken to my doctor he reasured me that it's anxiety but my dad was told the same thing n bang he's dead six months later. I am trying to find the strength to not let this over run my life but it's hard, I miss my dad so much more now that it's nearly a year ago. 

Is this normal to feel like this? Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, maybe I am.

Thank you for bumping my post

Julie 

I'm so sorry for your loss emmy, I hope you've a lot of support for the dark days? I have been struggling with my dad's death for a while now but choking on that panini it's frightened me n my swallowing I have been second guessing when I swallow n hate myself for it.

Big hugs to you n hope your doing ok? 

Take care 

Julie xx 

That was the same with my mum. She had breast cancer in 2008 then got the all clear in July 2014 then in December 2014 she was diagnosed with liver cancer from breast cancer. I had no idea it just spreads like that. I couldn't understand it. Then it spread to her lungs and her lungs collapsing and fluid is what killed her within 24 hours. 

It's a horrible disease x

 trying to keep my self busy and today was my sons birthday and my mum left his presents with me so wrapping them up and putting her name on them was hard. When I think about certain things it's like she knew she was going to die soon and in a way it's a big comfort as I don't feel as sad I feel happy she's in peace. 

Maybe try food that doesn't need to much chewing? Or things you can swallow easy xx

Awww I bet you have had a very exhausting day,  my first birthday without my dad was awful, I kept expecting him to come through the door saying happy birthday ducky n many more too :'( 

I'll try that emmy n if no better I'll probably insist on endoscopy to put my mind at ease.

Big hugs hun Julie xx