Hi RacheyP

Sorry that you have lost your dad.

I hope that coming here to express how you feel will help you and that you will receive advice and support from others who have lost loved ones to cancer.

Best wishes to you at this sad time,

Jane

Hi racheyp 

Sorry to hear of your loss, I too am going through the grieving process after losing my beloved dad and actually put a post on here about 6 days ago called struggling to cope after my dad passing away as have been reaching out to get comfort and support from people who have been or are going through the same as me. It's so hard and one day I think I'm feeling a little stronger and then the next I'm in bits again. My dad had multiple myeloma which we had never heard of before and after a long arduous battle which he fought to the very end he sadly passed away beginning of September this year. I miss him terribly and can't quite get my head around the fact he's not here anymore. I'm trying to be strong for my husband and kids but it's hard. My husband lost his father in different circumstances and I just feel unless you've actually gone through the roller coaster cancer is you never quite understand although everyone means well I know. I can't ring hug or talk to him or ask him for advice and that's the hard part. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore but the pain in grief at him not being here is immense. I've cried most of today after feeling ok ish for a couple of days it's so up and down but all we can all do is take each day as it comes and know that they never left us completely, their spirit, legacy and the fact we are part of them lives on through us. Take each day slowly and don't feel pressurised to get over it. Think of the good times and the happy memories...someone said me the other day remember your dad had his life (he was 75) and he would want for you to have yours and I believe that to be true although it won't stop me missing him I know he's right. I turn 40 in December and I'm dreading waking up knowing it's the first time on my birthday that he won't be there to share it with me but I'm trying to think that he will be watching over me wanting me to carry on enjoying my life..Hard but taking each day as it comes.

I've experienced losing people to cancer before having lost my grandmother (my dad's mum) in 2011 to stomach cancer after having it for a year, then just 11 weeks later my auntie (my mums sister) died after having brain and lung cancer for just 17 weeks. I was so down and it took me a little while to pick myself up but had to put a brave face on for my children's sake then 4 months after my auntie passing away when I was a few weeks pregnant with my third child my dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma with 3-5 years life expectancy nothing was the same again after hearing that and i had to be strong for my two children and didnt want to have a miscarriage with my third (id had one before) but taking each day now as it comes helps. I always do Race For Life every year (have done for 8 years) as I felt i couldn't change dad's or my other relatives situations but I could try and help raising money for research into finding a cure someday soon I hope..it's going to be very hard me doing it next year but I will as I know my Dad will be with me in spirit and proud of me trying to make a difference.

All the best to you.....big hugs x