Hello Richard,

It's strange, everyone who lost their parents in July seem tp be posting tonight. 

So sorry to hear about you Dad. I know how hard it is. But ypu must try and let go of all these bitter angry feelings. Your Dad is now in a paradise where he watches over you everyday. Just talk to him, he will always be listening. 

I am 23 and my Mum died at 52 two months after being diagnosed on 14th July. It was awful. My mum was my bestfriend. We were so close, I has similar experiences. Like you I sit and cry on my own. I don't want to bother my husband with the grief and constantly bring him down. That's not fair to him, plus nothing he says is going to make me feel better, we both know that. So your not the only one who does that. 

My mum was so excited forgrandchildren. It is absolutely awful that she had the chance to meet them as my sister and I haven't had children yet. 

When it comes to the bitterness and anger. Tall to your Dad. I am a strong believer that the soul lives on, and that our parents are around us and watching over us.  

There are a couple of regrets I had. My mum and I were quite spiritual, so I said to her when she was dying. " Mum, your mum and dad are waiting for you."  That was always something my mum took comfort in. But with the morphine mum's reply was. " please stop saying that." I felt awful. I couldn't believe it.  

A month later while walking the dog, I apologised to my mum. Chatting away to her. After that I felt alot better. To be honest that's the first time I have thought about it. Staying bitter and worrying about things will only make you ill. 

Just try and let it go, have no regrets. It's pointless wasting you energy being angry about something you cannot try. Please do try and let go. Your Dad wouldnt want you to feel this way. 

All the best,

Janna

Hello Janna

Your kind words mean alot to me and I take great comfort in what you say so thank you for that. It's nice to hear from someone who understands what I am going through and I am deeply sorry to hear about your Mum. Life just doesn't prepare us for for losing loved ones. 

Last night was one of my lowest points but today I decided that I would like to have some counselling which I'm hoping will help. I told my wife who thinks it's also a good idea. 

I shall let you know how it goes.

Stay strong Janna and thank you again. 

Hey Richard,

I apologise about all the typo's in the last post, I was very tired on the night shift. 

I am so glad to hear you are going to give counselling a go. That's fantastic. It helps so many people, I am sure it will help you. Yes, you are right, life just doesn't prepare for losing a loved one. 

Yesterday was also one of my lowest points. I have never broken down at work. Yes, there are lots of people on here who are going through the same thing and it is great talking to someone who understands. My husband is fantastic, but he doesn't understand what it's like. So I write on here because it is so nice to speak to people who truly understand the horrendous grief that come with losing a parent.

Yes, please do let me know how counselling goes. Book an appointment as soon as possible. 

All the best Richard,

Dont forget to talk to your Dad he is always listening. You stay strong too. Especially for your little boy!!! 

Janna 

Thanks Janna 

I will take your advice. I am going to try and speak with my Father more from now on. I'm sure this will help me grieve and release some of the burden I feel.

Don't apologise for the typos. Was a lovely message. And yes you are right about staying strong for my boy. Thankfully he is a great distraction for me. I also read your mesage when you lost at you Mum. So very sad. I hope in time it becomes easier for you too Janna and I hope you and your family come together to support each other going forwards.

Richard 

Hi Richard, I'm so sorry to hear your story.

I lost my mum suddenly at the end of May. I still do what you a re doing, once the husband has gone to bed I sit and cry..actually I sob my heart out. As I've just been doing. I don't know that I can offer any advice, except to say I'm sending you huge hugs. 

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