Oh Kristy, I am so dreadfully sorry to hear about your wonderful Dad's passing.  My heart goes out to you and your family. May it be of some small comfort to know that others are thinking of you all during such a difficult time.  Please keep in touch when you can and let me know how you are. Max x

Dear Kirsty

So sorry that your dad has died.

All of us here at Cancer Chat send you and your family our condolences.

Please let us know how you are getting on,

Jane

Hi Max thank you for your reply, how are you?

I am not so good, everyday seems like a blur since my daddy went away- we struggle through and the tears are always there. Yesterday I burst out crying while popping to the shops, I am such a private person I hate people seeing me like that nothing holds back the river.  The pain is indescribable, and seeing photos of happier times is gut wrenching, I long to be back there. I am still staying at mums at the moment- I am going back Wednesday but will be back the week after as dads  thing is on the 9th- I don't know how we will get through that or life from now on without him and I feel like I don't want to. I feel robbed of all the memories we still had to make , my dad worked hard all his life supporting us and then the other day mum had to sort out the bank and they erase his name from their accounts- it isn't right. I feel sick to my stomach my heart aches, sometimes it doesn't feel real like dad will be here any second I wish so much that was true.  I I talk to him and hope he hears, I kiss and cry into the pillow where he lay. I hope so much there is more to life then this , that he is happy and can see us and hear me that he is close to me always x

Kristy ........ I can only imagine what you are feeling sweetheart and am so very sorry.  I wish there were something I could say to ease your pain but am not niave enough to think there is. Just try to go day by day and grieve as it feels right for you. If others don't understand, then it is their problem not yours to worry about.

Have you been given a date for your scan yet Kristy? X

I had a date but cancelled it as was here and I haven't been back home since so not sure if they have given me another yet. 

Just so hard, I don't know how people carry on when they lose someone they love so much. It's just not right, doesn't seem fair that so many good people get taken away while there are so many monsters out there :( I hope you are ok Max xxx