Hi,

Sorry that you have lost your loving Grandad and I found the first few weeks following the passing of a loved one (especially when you experience that final breath) was difficult to forget that fleeting moment.  I can say now that I am some six months on from my  husband's death that the good memories do eventually take over.  Your grand-dad may not have been able to talk or recognise you towards the end but you were there and he could probably hear you and that would have been a comfort to him. Grieving is a process that takes people different lengths of time to adjust to a loss and I hope  you have other family members giving you support during this sad time.

The need to blame 'something' for your Granddad being taken away  is a normal part of grieving and just writing about it can sometimes help.  I chose to just 'blame'the disease over which I had no control but you will always carry good memories in your heart and one day these will come before the the ones you are having just now.  Sending a virtual hug at this sad time.Jules54