Cancer Research UK main site

Update on feeling sad

Highlander
Offline

Hi everyone

Just a quick update on my progress.  The good days are begining to out number the bad days, but its still hard, i miss so much.I keep myself busy and that helps as i had a good teacher, i now can paint,strim and cut grass, unblock a waste pipe and (typing with a smile) use the remote control for the TV!!!

Sleeping is difficult as hubby had very bad aggitation the last two days of his life in May and the last pictures of him in my mind of of him in his hospital bed at home which was very upsetting for me.  I just wish i had a laughing,smiling picture, I have been told that this wish will come sooner or later.  Talking to people about Hubby helps as we had so many good and funny times by ourselves and with friends.  Thanks for being there everyone, its a great site.

Highlander

 

  • Offline

    Dear Highlander

    Glad to read that you are doing better. As you might remember reading, I lost my husband on june 4th. I am also struggling with the images I have of my husbands physical deterioration and suffering. My daughter has introduced me to several books teaching ,acceptance, surrender and forgiveness. I read them mostly at night because thats when I feel the most vulnerable.

    I look foward to the time when the images of his beautiful healthy smile are the only ones that will flud my memories. I dont know when that will be. I am told that grief is like a spriral stair case. There will be ups and downs for a long while. I am trying to be courages and feel the pain as it comes. It helps to come on this sight and hear from you guys. I am not alone. Thank you for your update.

    Angela

     

     

     

  • Offline in reply to angela1962

    Hi Angela

    thank you for your reply. It helps hearing from people like yourself. Just had a bad moment, dont know how it started so i just except its a bad day.  It is getting better every day but when i have a bad day,its bad!!!

    I just miss him so much, looking at a photo of him smiling helps alot and i can now say that i am remembering the good times more than the last 2 days of his life.

    take care

    christine

  • Offline

    Hi Highlander/Christine

    Sorry for the late response but have only just noticed your new thread.  It good of you to share how you are feeling just now and that slowly you are seeing 'better pictures' and the good memories will in due time replaced those last days.  I am a little further forward in the journey, hubby having passed away in early January but still have days when, for no obvious reason I feel more vulnerable. Sleep is still interrupted but am coping.  Am grateful still for the support of family, friends and the forum buddies I have. In the last couple of weeks I have taken on a new challenge and staying occupied does help a great deal. Grieving takes as long as it takes for each individual but I do find happy memories easier to bring to the fore than I did even a couple of months ago. I hope hubby would be proud of my efforts.

    Look after yourself and sending a virtual hug. Jules

  • Offline in reply to Highlander

    Hi Christine,

    I know what you mean about those bad days. As I am sitting here writing this,I feel that today promises to be one of those days. You are a head of me in this "process" so I am greatly encouraged when you report on your progress. 

    Thank you 

    Angela

     

  • Offline in reply to angela1962

    Hi Angela

    Was just sat here and thinking of you, how are you doing?

    Thick this is the first Sunday that i have not had a bad day, dont know why Sundays are bad.  I keep busy and now i have even opened up the B&B that hubby and myself built up, just a few nights at a time but i do find it helps talking to other people about their travels.  My friends and family are saying that hubby would be so proud seeing me getting on.  I find it hard still at night when its quiet and dark so sleep is still a bit of a problem.  Reading the forum helps me understand that what we are going through is normal and there will be light at the end of the tunnel one day.  Take care of yourself.  Christine XX

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.