Song,

I am sorry to hear of loss and can only imagine what you are going through. You wouldn't be human if you weren't thinking about "what-ifs" but, from what you have written, there's nothing much that anyone could have done.

Your husband's case sounds similar to mine. Apparently I have been living with cancer for many years but with few, if any, of the traditional symptoms so I was blissfully unaware until it had become incurable. I keep thinking I should have seen my doctor earlier but I keep coming back to "why would I have gone to the doctor?". I had no pain (at least not until shortly before I was diagnosed) and the few symptoms I did have could have been caused by anything from stress or indigestion through to an ulcer. 

I don't know how to end this except to say that you should try not to dwell on it and that, however bad you feel about it, none of it could possibly have been your fault.

Best wishes
Dave
x

Hello

I am sad to read the reason you are posting but fully understand your feelings.  I lost my husband five months ago (I too finding it hard to believe its been that long) and think it is perfectly normal to think that somehow we could have done more. Sadly this really is not the case as we would have done anything and everything possible to help but the illness had other ideas. Though I had three years of knowing that my husband would be taken by his cancer diagnosis (terminal from day 1) somehow the day he died still was a shock (last month was quick decline) and the grieving period takes as long as it takes.

I hope you have a loving support network around you just now but the forum is a good place to come and share those feelings.  Many here understand the process and I do have the comfort of knowing my husband is free of the anguish/pain his cancer brought him. Still taking each day as it comes along with the emotions his death has brought but draw strength from family/friends and my virtual buddies on the forum. Sending a virtual hug. Jules54