Hi Gaynor

Just wanted to say sorry for your loss.  My mum died in April this year, and I think it's hard not to feel angry at the medical profession, whether or not there have been specific issues.  I still feel angry at lots of things.

With regard to the funeral, did your Mum make her wishes clear?  For me, we thought mum would have much longer, so she hadn't left nearly as many instructions as we thought she would have, which resulted in myself and my brother having to make a lot of decisions.

Thinking of you xx

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Hi and welcome to this supportive forum though sad to read the reason for  your being here.  I lost my husband in January aged 63 and find there are many emotions to go through during the greiving process.

Apart from the anger you feel at the medical profession (this could be something you could take up with PALs through your local hospital in due  time). Sadly it does not bring your dear Mum back to the family. There should also still be people you can talk to at the hospice where your Mum was looked after so well during her final days.  When I went through this several years ago with my Dad they offered relatives the chance to talk things through for as long as they needed after their loss.  As my husband died at home as was his wish, my GP has been keeping an eye one me and gives me someone to talk to outside the emotional network of my family.

Just now I am sure you are experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions which are all perfectly normal from my experience. Even five months on since my husband died I still get taken by surprise at how I sometimes feel at different times. Its like you are doubly vulnerable and also in shock at having lost someone so much loved. I feel blessed that I found this forum during my husband's illness and it a great place to express the wide range of feelings you may well be going through.  As to arranging the funeral I am sure you will instinctively know how your Mum would have liked this to be as a celebration of her life. I found our funeral directors were very understanding and guided me and my children through all that needed to be arranged.  Do not be afraid to ask questions if you want something particular they can very often help.  Advice is hard as everyone's feelings can be so different but I coped (and still do) by taking each day at a time and drawing on the love and support of family and friends.  Come and chat on the forum if it helps too.  Sending a virtual hug at this difficult time. Jules54

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