Hi marco02

Dont be sorry to ask for help, you are not a bother. It doesnt matter at what age someone you love dies, the grief is the same. You may take some solace that your dad had a full and long life, and you really did your best for him by being there for him when he needed you. You never get over the hurt, it doesn't get easier, but you will change in some way to accept what has happened. Remember all the good times you spent together and he will always be with you. In some ways when your parents die, its like you actually become a grown up (strange as that might seem). Everyone copes in different ways but if you can talk to your family and friends this is good therapy for you. Amongst them will be those who have lost loved ones, and will know just how you are feeling. They may be able to share a kind word or give some good advice. I have been in your shoes and now have cancer myself to cope with, I can still see all the beautiful things in life and with good fortune you may too if you just look.

Thankyou so much for you reply ,i am ao sorry that you have cancer it just proves wot a wonderful person you are after, all you must be going though and yet you still find the time to reply  ,my heart and prayer go out to keep strong, wot i am going though seems so trivial now  i really wish you the best of luck  .

Hi marco

Losing those we love the most is hard thing to go through and eventually accept. My Dad was 85 when he passed away from cancer but  unlike you I was not beside him as he chose to go into a local hospice to where he and my Mum lived and I visited when I could.  I can say that with time the loss got easier to understand/accept and you will carry his love in your heart forever - he is part of you now and that cannot be taken away.   When I lost my husband to cancer 5 months ago, age 63) I was able to be by his side and whilst grieving I manage to draw comfort from the knowledge that though I feel his loss greatly, he is now free from the pain (which he called discomfort) and restrictions that his illness brought him. Be kind to yourself; in time the good memories will replace most of the sad ones and draw support from your family and friends and chat on the forum as and when you need to.  Your are not a bother to anyone as those here fully undestand that pain you are going through. Jules54

Hi Marco

Thankfully the forum is open 24/7 so whenever we feel like sharing its there and I am still relying on my forum buddies when I have a bit of a down day or just need to chat.  Day to day and keeping occupied does help but I also need quiet periods of reflection.  Early days and all that.  Look after yourself.Jules