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Anniversary of losing a loved one

PaulD2
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It's Going to be two years on the sixteenth of March since I lost my beautiful daughter Nina to a brain tumor after three years of struggling to beat it she was only 28 years old and had just qualified as a doctor specialising in paediatrics I think of her every day and the sadness won't leave my heart, my wife and I are coming up to our sixtieth birthdays this year and friends are pressurising us to have a big bash of a party I know they mean well. It celebrating is the last thing we want, I have dealt with it by booking some time away when our birthdays come up. Does anyone else feel angry with friends who are good friends and mean well but simply don't understand.

 

 

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    Hi Paul

    Cannot begin to know how  you feel/cope when you lose a child at whatever age.  It just seems so cruel. I lost my husband of 37 yrs just two months ago so do know a bit about the grieving process.  My husband had just under a three year journey with terminal Mesothelioma and to be honest we were lucky to have that long. I had my 60th during that time and when asked what I would be doing, I quietly said nothing special thank you, just to spend time with my close family. Got my wish with a buffet meal with hubby, children and grandsons.

    To be fair I have not had anyone tell me what I should or should not be feeling and therefore cannot really reply to your direct question regarding feeling angry. Perhaps the friends are just unable  to comprehend what you are having to go through with the sad loss of a much loved daughter. I do hope you find some peace when you spend time away during your birthday period and maybe when the time is right you could enjoy a quiet meal with the friends who care so much for you. As you say they mean well.

    Take care. Jules

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules

    Thanks for your kind words and my thoughts are with you on the loss of your husband your quite right people do struggle to comprehend the loss of a loved one it's just some days it bubbles up. We've talked it through and we are just going to go away the two of us so we can have a quite time together.

    We've been married 35 years so I can understand the gap left in your life at a time when you should be enjoying time together.

    Look after yourself x 

  • Offline in reply to PaulD2

    Thank you for your condolences. I do hope that your time away will be peaceful and that you are finding comfort within yourselves. Life can be a hard road to travel at times but being in understanding company helps. I  know you will have much sadness but also so many wonderful memories to reflect upon. Kind thoughts are sent to you and  your wife and do look after each other. Regards Jules x

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