Hi Pendeli,

i can undertsand how you feel but sometimes depite all our efforts, somethings are just not possible. So please stop beating yourself up over this. You know in your heart, you and your daughter did everything possible to fufil his last wish. Circumstances sometimes conspire against us. You dont need to make yourself feel worse as losing a loved one is painful enough withoutthe added regret.

Sending kind thoughts your way, Brian.

Hello Pendeli,  I'm so sorry to ready about the loss of your husband and of the guilty feelings you are having.  I just wanted to say that I really think that guilty feelings are a normal part of the rollercoaster of grief.  I lost my parents in 2013 to this terrible disease; my Mum went to a hospice the day she died. I'd been with her all day I left in the evening when she was sleeping peacefully still thinking we had more time.  In the early hours of the morning I got the call that she'd passed away and like you I felt so guilty for so long.  Now as time has moved on I have sort of come to terms more with the situation and realise that I did what I considered to be right at the time, and although I'd love to change it to be there I can't. You did everything you could for your husband and he would know that. If only we knew for sure when the end was definitely approaching, but unfortunately not even medical staff can tell us that for sure. Meanwhile we struggle through doing our best not knowing how long that may continue.  It is not possible to care for somebody 24 hours a day, you have to have a break yourself.  I know my words may not help you at the moment because no matter what I think you will beat yourself up because it is part of the process of grief; but please be reassured that you did everything possible and in time you will come to realise that.  Let me know how you are.  Hope x

Hallo!  Many thanks for taking the time to post a response to my first posting  It really was

appreciated  I hope things continue to go well for you.

Best wishes Pendeli.   

 Dear Hope

Being a newcomer to this cancer chat site, I wanted to let you know  how much your kind

words meant to me and the comfort they gave me.  Thsanks so much.

Best wishes Pendeli

Dear Pendeli = well there it was = you tried your best. It was the same for my dad - he slipped away when our backs were turned - just for a moment. Maybe life is like that. Comming to terms with how things are is so very hard = all I can do is offer my prayers and peace to you

Steven xx

Hi Pendeli

Please remember you did everything within your power but so much more than that. You have 43 years worth of memories ( I have just over 42 yrs - lost my hubby Jan this year) and your husband chose his moment to slip away. My Dad did the same - waited till Mum had left the room and I truly believe there is true peace in that moment.  No reason to feel guilty and please do not let this get in the way of your grief. Take support from those around you and hope that in time you, like me, will adjust but for now give yourself some tlc and time to heal.  Regards Jules x