Hi there, My darling wife Dawn sadly passed away 19th June 2012, it is still so very hard to understand why or even believe i wont see Dawn again, I find I'm going round in circles, I get upset when no one calls, but then when they do call and invite me out, I dont want to go out, but if I do go out I feel so guilty for going out, I'm upset that life around me seems to carry on just as before, evenings or a nightmare, I keep busy during the day, walk our dog for hours, tried all kinds of hobbies, but the evenings you just can't help but think, just think about what you could have done, what you should have done. Still think Dawn will walk through the door at sometime.
Hi Paul = reading your post filled me with pain. The pain of berievement is terrible and goes on and on. There are no coulds or shoulds - its rally just the ways is was. There was nothing more you or anyone could or should have done - its just that when life ends - the people left behind have to carry on. I am glad you feel able to go out = its a major form of comfort for us and makes us forget how things are. As you say evenings are difficult and there are no answers. For myself - I am learning with an internet company called Coursera - which is free of charge and stretches the mind and provides stimulus. I think the uk also does free courses.
Why don't you come back on here and keep in touch - the people are very kind and friendly and understanding = welcome
Hi Paul, I'm so sorry for your loss. You are really having a hard time dealing with the death of your lovely wife, Dawn. My heart goes out to you. I know what it is to lose a loved one - I have lost many of them including a partner to cancer, a son to suicide, my parents and a brother to cancer. There is no easy way to come to terms with these losses and although my life goes on, a big part of me will always grieve the loss of these loved ones. Please see your doctor to get some help in dealing with the loss of your wife.Your life will continue regardless how you live it. I believe in my heart that Dawn would not want you to continue pining for her, but I'm sure she would want you to find another path that brings you peace of mind and some well-deserved contentment. Living your best life doesn't take away from your love and devotion to Dawn. Please get some counselling for your unresolved grief. Come on to the forum any time as there is always someone here to respond and provide you with emotional support. We would also like to know how you are getting along.
Hi there Steven, thank you for your response, already I have had the warmth and feel more comfortable, I just wish I had joined the forum much earlier, you all sound such wonderful people, I'm sure all the advice give will help in lots of ways. I have tried lots of hobbies, drawing, painting, learning to play the guitar, even wrote a song for Dawn, but I just can't seem to concentrate for long period, Once I have achieved the aim I lose interest. Must get my act together. Thank you for the invite to reply, you are all so very kind, kind regards Paul
Wow Lorraine, I am so sorry you have been through so much pain, what an amazing lady you must be and so brave, I really don't know if I could have gone through the loss you have, so sorry. This forum is amazing with so many wonderful people who have suffered so much pain themselves. You are of course absolutely right, Dawn wouldn't want me feeling sorry for myself, but it is so hard isn't it to pick up the pieces. I have had counselling also been to bereavement group talks, but I still break down sometimes, think it will take me a lot longer that most. I'm sure with the wonderful support and positive guidance from this forum, I will see a light at the end of tunnel soon, thank you Lorraine for your kind words, kind regards Paul
Cheers there Paul. Yea = good to keep intouch. Strangely enough I was talking my colleague at work today ( I work in a supermarket) and she told me that she had been a berievement councilor in her spare time for fifteen years. Something I had never known - she told me she had started doing it after her mum passed. We discussed berievement and how it affected my personal life and she said something rather nice which I will share with you. She said "oh yes - after someone has gone the World becomes very dark and black. Then after a while there is a tiny bit of light - something happens which relieves the darkness slightly; and so there is a new beginning" she said it started for her when she noticed a lovely flower in her garden. We have our spring flowers just showing above the ground. She was really kind and encouraging. I hope things are okay for you and you are not snowed in!!
Hi Steven, thank you, my bereavement councillor helped me a lot, she told me things would get better, but in my own time as we all react differently and there wasn't a set time, she definitly helped. But it is a bit of a struggle at times, even when I try to get on with my life, it just doesn't seem right, I feel so guilty and I really miss Dawn, I always will, think that tiny bit of light is going to be a while coming. I do feel as though I'm getting encouragement from this forum, so many wonderful people, who are strong, positive and reassuring that time will heal, and the hurt will decrease, but obviously the memory will remain as stong as ever.
Thanks again Steven, kind regards Paul
