Hi everyone,

One month ago, after 15 months of treatment and ops my amazing Dad passed. We were told he was terminal 3 month before but the doctors were still telling us he had more time. The doctor daw my Dad 2 days before he died and said how small the tumor was he expected my dad still had months. Because of this we were all shocked when it happend. It was quick which is as kind as it could have been for him, but as selfish as it is, it ment that i diddnt get to say a lst good bye and im finding tht really hard to deal with.

I'm finding it really hard to get on and do normal things, no we've had the memorial it feels like were expected tp just get back to our lives. Everything feels really sereal. My mums really not doing very well atall and i dont know how i can help her. It hasnt really sunk in for  my little brrother and sister, 7 and 8 (im 16) and i think there probably just to young to comprehend it. I really dont know what were suppost to be doing, nothing feels okay anymore. Im changin between feeling angry (with anyone for no reason) or just being compleatly devistated and just staying in bed, i never understood when people would say they were hurting, but i compleatly do now, my body physical hurts sometime.  How long does it take before some sence of normality because i dont know how much longer we can all go on like this.

Sorry for the long ramble, but needed to get stuff of my chest.