Hi Hope,

I hope now you are back at work and keeping busy, you don't feel so bad. It will be better for you when the house renovation is done and the house is sold. I am in agreement with something Jules said to you on her thread, even though we all have loving families around us, we all need a little time to ourselves sometimes, I know I most certainly do. How is your son getting on at medical college? You must be very proud of him.

My wife is still very concerned about her brother and his prostate cancer. He has said after the mix up his doctor made of his last appointment they will see one of the others in the practise.

Anyway take care, best wishes as always, Brian.

Hi Brian,

Thanks for thinking of me.  As you know I've had a couple of really down weeks but am feeling a little more like myself just now.  It is strange (and somewhat frightening) how the incredible pain can just come back and hit you when you had thought you were doing much better.  I had one day recently where I think I just cried all day, however that was then followed by another day when I felt much more like myself again. I try and think positive for my family, I am so proud of my boys; eldest is loving med sch and I know he will make a fantastic doctor oneday. I can understand how worrying it must be for your wife regarding her brother; I think it is vitally important that we have faith in the doctor treating us, so the mix up must have caused a great deal of distress.  Hopefully things are now getting sorted?  I'm sure you are supporting Mrs B and your brother-in-law very well, and I'm sure they'll find your help very reassuring.  Please let me know how things are and thanks again for your continuing support.  Hope x

Good morning Hope,

Just thought I'd let you know I've been thinking of you and know that this month will be a difficult time for you.

I do hope you realise that we are still all here for you.

Sending virtual hugs and love

Annabel. xx

Hi Annabel, thank you so much for caring & for your support. You are correct that this is a difficult time as it is the anniversary of Dads death next weekend. Everything that has happened in the last year still feels surreal somehow. I have days where I think Im OK followed by others when I cant stop crying, but have told myself this is probably normal.given the enormity of change that has happened. This site is a great help. Anyway how are you? I hope you are doing OK & that the sun is shining where you live - its beautifull here today and Im currently outdoors in the sun at youngests football match. Take care & please keep in touch. Hope xx

Good morning Hope,

And what a good one it is too and hope your enjoying th match. Just wanted to let you know I and many others on here will be thinking of you over the next week or so. I think what you say about  it feeling surreal is the enormity of you loss still hasn't fully sunk in and what with doing up the house as well you have been so busy that life still hasn't had time to return to it's new sort of normal. When we lose one of our parents life changes very considerably but losing both so close together means life has changed drastically for you. It will take time however long that may be. Plus you have had our son start med school so that is also another big change in you life. All these things add up so what you say is understandable. Just to confirm what the lovely Annabel has said, anytime you want to talk, rant or rave, you have many friends on  here who will lend a virtual shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen.

Take care, sending best wishes, hugs from Brian.

I came across this today and thought I would send it to you. I hope you like it. Click on it to enlarge it if like me you struggle with the small print.

                           [[]]

Hi Brian,

Lovely to hear from you and thanks for your support and the wonderful poem.  The poem sums up just how I feel; I am still grieving loads and whilst there are many lovely people like yourself and others on here, who truly understand that grief is a long journey, there are others who I feel think time has passed so I should be feeling better by now. Perhaps that is just my perception of things as I watch life carrying on as normal for some who think I'm part of that normality.

Anyway on a positive note I have sold the house (subject to contract) without the need to spend anymore time or money on it.  The market here is crazy which means many buyers queing for the same property.  It is early days but fingers crossed. I do feel a sense of relief, however I also acknowledge that I feel sadness too, it was my childhood home and a 2nd home to my children therefore so many memories.  Nobody can take my memories away though and I feel it will be better to keep them in my heart and head and not have to keep putting myself through going back and forth there.

I hope you and Mrs  are well, how are things with your brother-in-law?  Take care and hope to hear from you again soon.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Just come in from the gardening (aching but gratified that I have managed to weed half the back garden) and just wanted to add my support for you during the coming week (our Dads' must have a very close anniversary).  I dont think anyone can put a time on how long individuals have to grieve for.  There are so many emotions caught up with the whole life/death journey and so many different circumstances.  You are incredibly brave to be on the forum helping others whilst dealing with your losses (I did not even have my own computer when my Dad died) so on the whole dealt with my emotions with immediate family apart from my Mum who accepted he was gone and that it was for the best (think perhaps our feelings can be age related (she was 82 at the time!!) and  you are right when you say people differ in how they cope.  I am sure the forthcoming sale of your family  home will be bittersweet but those memories you hold within your head and heart are a precious resource which you can draw on anytime.  Keeping you in my thoughts over the coming days and onwards when you need to chat.  Sometimes life just cannot be rushed and we need those peaceful times. Jules xx

Good Afternoon Hope,

Just seen your post as not been on here for months , your so right I find myself of here today as it's my mums birthday

Who by some miracle is still here and still does not know about the cancer.

I just wanted to say always thinking of you and cannot Thank you enough for all the support you gave me when I first joined here 5 months ago.

You are in my prayers xx

Hi Jules,

Thank you once again for your continued support, it reallly does make such a difference to know that others understand.  I'm not feeling too bad just now, but as we all know these feelings change daily.  The anniversary of Dad's death is the weekend so I may well feel differently by then.  I think the change in the weather has helped keep me a bit more afloat and will just have to go with my feelings for a while as there are many more anniversaries regarding my Mum to deal with in the coming months too.  I hope you are OK an will catch up with you soon again on your thread.  Thanks again  Hope xx