struggling to cope after my husbands death

Hi i am new here and this is the first time i have posted anything. My Husband John died on 12th of July after being diagnosed in May this year with oesophageal cancer. I just feel lost and dont seem to be able to move on. He has always been a well man and even when diagnosed they said he was stage 4 and inoperable because it had gone into his liver. He had no symptoms at all apart from a small annoying but not painful feeling in his stomach. He asked if he could take his family on holiday before starting chemo, the consultant said that nothing major would happen in the next couple of weeks. we went ahead and booked a huge family holiday in spain. 4 days after arriving i found him collapsed on the kitchen floor. we rushed him to hospital where they said he was suffering from severe pancreatitusand kept him in for 2 weeks. we flew him home and he stayed at home for a week but was still very sick. he was taken into hospital again on the sunday and after a scan on the wednesday we were told that he didnt have a healthy piece of liver left and were told that he would only surrive another few days. he passes away 4 days later. i just dont know what to do i am all on my own and cannot stop crying, the tears are streaming down my face just writing this. i need help.

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  • I have recently lost my husband on the 4th July.He also had oesophageal cancer. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I don't want to see or speak to anyone as it just upsets me.
  • HI lillyflies, i too am in a situation having just lost my partner of 10yrs, Ivana, to stomach cancer on the 29th oct 2017. It hurts so much, i am lost , frightened, at times desperate to the point of not wanting to go on. Everything is painful and the waves of grief are overwhelming. she is irreplaceable I feel your grief Love Paul xx
  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Paul although I'm sorry to hear of Ivana's passing and would like to offer you my sincerest condolences.

    Dealing with grief can be very tough but I'm glad you've found the forum and are finding support from other members going through the same experience as yourself. I just wanted to stop by and let you know that whenever you feel like times are really tough that the Samaritans are just a phone call away. They are available 24 hours a day on 116 123 so if you ever need to talk to someone do give them a call.

    Many members have found bereavement counselling to be really helpful when working through their grief so I have included a link to the cruse bereavement website in case you wanted to find out more.

    I hope this helps Paul and remember you are not alone.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator 

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  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Paul although I'm sorry to hear of Ivana's passing and would like to offer you my sincerest condolences.

    Dealing with grief can be very tough but I'm glad you've found the forum and are finding support from other members going through the same experience as yourself. I just wanted to stop by and let you know that whenever you feel like times are really tough that the Samaritans are just a phone call away. They are available 24 hours a day on 116 123 so if you ever need to talk to someone do give them a call.

    Many members have found bereavement counselling to be really helpful when working through their grief so I have included a link to the cruse bereavement website in case you wanted to find out more.

    I hope this helps Paul and remember you are not alone.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator 

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