struggling to cope after my husbands death

Hi i am new here and this is the first time i have posted anything. My Husband John died on 12th of July after being diagnosed in May this year with oesophageal cancer. I just feel lost and dont seem to be able to move on. He has always been a well man and even when diagnosed they said he was stage 4 and inoperable because it had gone into his liver. He had no symptoms at all apart from a small annoying but not painful feeling in his stomach. He asked if he could take his family on holiday before starting chemo, the consultant said that nothing major would happen in the next couple of weeks. we went ahead and booked a huge family holiday in spain. 4 days after arriving i found him collapsed on the kitchen floor. we rushed him to hospital where they said he was suffering from severe pancreatitusand kept him in for 2 weeks. we flew him home and he stayed at home for a week but was still very sick. he was taken into hospital again on the sunday and after a scan on the wednesday we were told that he didnt have a healthy piece of liver left and were told that he would only surrive another few days. he passes away 4 days later. i just dont know what to do i am all on my own and cannot stop crying, the tears are streaming down my face just writing this. i need help.

Parents
  • I am sorry to hear of your loss. My partner died 6 weeks ago and that was sudden also. I have no family or anyone else and I miss him terribly and I cry almost all the time non stop. Have you considered charity work? I find reading books a great help as it takes my mind off it albeit for a short time but find it does help. I do hope life becomes less of a trauma for yourself
Reply
  • I am sorry to hear of your loss. My partner died 6 weeks ago and that was sudden also. I have no family or anyone else and I miss him terribly and I cry almost all the time non stop. Have you considered charity work? I find reading books a great help as it takes my mind off it albeit for a short time but find it does help. I do hope life becomes less of a trauma for yourself
Children
  • Hey Astra.....I feel your pain over and over again. Last November, my husband passed out and suffered a seizure. That's when we found out that he had Brain Cancer/Lung Cancer/Liver Cancer. He was in bad shape. Naturally as men are what they are, he NEVER said anything to me - I don't know if he thought something was wrong or not. Stage 4 Lung Cancer. He began radiation therapy a week later and was taking meds. Even put on 11 lbs in less than 2 weeks (I was thrilled - thought there was a chance). I reached out to a cancer centre in NYC and not only were they NOT nice to me on the phone, they said that they are ''not a surgical facility/not a hospital'. They wrote him off because he was already stage 4. You want to know why their 'stats' are so high? Because they pick and choose who they can help. Therefore keeping their survival level high. I HATE them. When I hear a commercial, I want to VOMIT. I sent them an email and really let them have a piece of my heart. Anyway, my husband survived from 11/19/2016 - 12/23/2016. The cancer moved fast. Its a DEVIL inside our bodies. I miss him so much. He was the heart and soul of my life. I was the heart and soul of his life. We were married 36 years. My son is a horrible person. He's nasty to me and I will not go visit for I do fear him some. I have three grandchildren (everyone lives in Washington State). My daughter in law pretends to be ''an angel''. I know better. Maybe I could heal faster IF there was a relationship. But I'm afraid its too late. Thanks for ''listening'' 'CINDERELLA'