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My nan passed away and I feel so traumatised

Goob9897
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My nan passed away a few days ago. She was getting sleepier and sleepier as the days went on. Me and my family managed to get to her in the nursing home about an hour before she passed. She was complaining she couldn’t breathe and calling out for help and saying that she didn’t have long and to please kill her. We all felt so helpless. It felt like forever that anyone would help her. She was having to readjust and sit upright but it wasn’t helping. I could tell how much she was struggling to breathe. Eventually she was given some sedative but I don’t think it was given in time and she did pass. I can’t stop thinking about that as my final memory of her and how much she struggled in her last moments. Please bring me some peace in this matter. I know she wasn’t in pain but it was the fact that she seemed to struggle 

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  • Hello Goob9897,

    I just wanted to say welcome to Cancer Chat and to express my condolences for the passing of your nan. 

    Seeing a loved one go through cancer isn't easy, especially as she was in some distress, so I can't imagine how difficult these last weeks have been for you and your family. Talking through how you feel can help with coming to terms with what's happened and help you move forward, so please know that you don't have to work through this on your own. It's natural to feel helpless sometimes and grief is different for each individual, but the most important thing to remember is that your nan was loved and you did all you could for her.

    Cancer Chat is always here for you and I hope you find it useful. However, you may find it easier to talk to someone over the phone and there are some services like Cruse that have free helplines made up of experienced and dedicated volunteers. There is also some guidance on our website for after a loved one dies, which you can refer to anytime you wish.

    My sincere condolences once again and I hope you look after yourself,

    Moderator Anastasia

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  • Hello Goob9897,

    I just wanted to say welcome to Cancer Chat and to express my condolences for the passing of your nan. 

    Seeing a loved one go through cancer isn't easy, especially as she was in some distress, so I can't imagine how difficult these last weeks have been for you and your family. Talking through how you feel can help with coming to terms with what's happened and help you move forward, so please know that you don't have to work through this on your own. It's natural to feel helpless sometimes and grief is different for each individual, but the most important thing to remember is that your nan was loved and you did all you could for her.

    Cancer Chat is always here for you and I hope you find it useful. However, you may find it easier to talk to someone over the phone and there are some services like Cruse that have free helplines made up of experienced and dedicated volunteers. There is also some guidance on our website for after a loved one dies, which you can refer to anytime you wish.

    My sincere condolences once again and I hope you look after yourself,

    Moderator Anastasia

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