I lost my mum last week to metastatic breast cancer, I can hardly believe that I am writing this. She was admitted to a gastro ward via A&E due to felling really unwell  and having a gall bladder infection and then high sodium levels. I was given false hope all week about the individual symptoms and how they would be treating them. The discussions went on about a care package to go home but I felt she was just getting more unwell. Her eyes became yellow and watery and I had to point this out to the staff. As she became more unwell, she was finally transferred to the cancer hospice ward but no one said she may only have hours to live. She was put on a driver, became agitated that evening, was given  2 different anti agitation drugs and then died on my arms minutes later. I was told days earlier by a palliative care nurse that when the end came, she would sleep a lot more and then wouldn’t wake up. That is not what happened and I am haunted by the reality. It was a bank holiday Monday when she was admitted and there were no consultants to chat to us. It came as a complete shock to me and my brother arrived too late to be there (about a minute too late). I will be getting counselling and I have already had a meeting with the hospice. Right now I am struggling, I feel there was a lack of joined thinking in the hospital and no one prepared me for the awful end that came too soon